Alex Samond should solve more household problems.
Fay Dunwoody, Inverness: "I can't get these stains out of the curtains. Let's face it: my son is a horrid wank. What should I do?"
FM Samond: "An independent nation begins with independent youth. Make the spud wash the curtains himself. Also, a YES vote in the Referendum will allow us to fund research in a new generation of environmentally safe surfactants."