I was first born, and until I discovered pot and the world outside the small, conservative town I was raised in that was pretty much the mold. I was singled out as 'gifted' very young, put in all sorts of supplemental programs, teams and such. My brothers have all struggled in some area of academics, while everything except for calculus comes pretty naturally to me. If I had maintained my bias going into college, I would have graduated by now, found someone I could tolerate being around for a few hours, married them, and be working a job I hate for shit pay, taking my pills unto the grave.
Well, due to a combination of health issues, and a near complete mental breakdown from stress, and a few other factors I took a year off from school, had what amounts to a mid life crisis, and now I'm back in school with the understanding that democracy doesn't rule the US, my college degree is an inherently worthless piece of paper in a market over-saturated by worthless pieces of paper, and the knowledge that I must make my own destiny, screw everyone and everything else. Also I may be a secular Buddhist now, still working on that part.
Not to hasten any anger, but you do realize that hatred is merely love spurned and anger comes from desire spurned. Screwing over everyone isn't going to get you any closer to satori. I'm worried you'll throw good effort at bad and thereby compound your state. Yeah, Whitey's a pain in the ass. Nevertheless, the trick is to starve Whitey of power by starving him of your attention.
First off, no anger here, I can appreciate your comment without taking offense. Second, when I said 'screw everyone and everything else' I was (inaccurately) expressing the idea that I can't worry about everyone and everything else or I will go insane. That I must devote time and love to things I care about, and have only compassion for anyone who bugs me. Not love necessarily, not anger either, but compassion, and an empathetic understanding that the person being a jerk had something happen to them that twisted them to be a jerk.
Gotcha. I sympathize. It's why I avoid my home town like the plague: it is home to several people I love, but it's a psychic swamp. Every time I spend longer than two days in the place, my depression paralyzes me.