I was having a chat with my girlfriend last night, and it came time to tell her something--I over-think everything, even if I don't show it (I usually don't). Every issue, thought, or source of communication that enters my mind is unscrupulously torn apart by my consciousness.
The need to express this came from a single event: Her friend had messaged me on Facebook about her and how he knows I'll treat her well, especially after she's had a rough relationship in the past. I sent her a text, part of which read "it's nice that you have people looking after you," in the sense that I'm glad she has friends that care for her.
That particular text prompted a single reply from her, part of which read "I can look after myself, thanks." The rest of the text was rather positive, but that one sentence really threw my mood off for the night.
I suppose my flaw is over-sensitivity and over-thinking things. She later (unrelated to the current topic) told me that she had a migraine at the time, which made me feel a bit better, though I still feel uncomfortable whilst thinking about it.
Let's hear it, Hubskiers. What are your flaws?
My flaw is that I am your girlfriend. This part, anyway: I am independent to a fault. I respond poorly when people attempt to tell me what to do. True story, which I only realized last night: we talked about ghosting on Hubski a while ago. Yesterday I was hanging out with some old friends. After I drove around and thought. It struck me that my ghosting habit began because one of those friends, who I've known for years and years, would always attempt to make me stay at parties in college. She'd insist I stay, in fact. Well, when I'm done with something I'm done and when I'm leaving, I'm leaving. So I stopped saying goodbye to her, which then became not-saying-goodbye in general. I realized I did this because of that whole independence thing, which honestly kind of tickled me because although I've realized it's a trait, I hadn't realized how long it had been this pronounced. Longer than I realized. Along with the independence, I can be pig-headed and stubborn. I don't always communicate well with those I should try my hardest to communicate well with. (Hello, internet strangers! Don't worry, I can communicate with you just fine! - after all there is no price or import on our interactions)I can look after myself, thanks.
What are my flaws? a dangerous question. - I think I'm more self aware than I am - I have little confidence in myself, despite, if not especially because other people tell me I'm good at what I do. - I am overly self - critical - I can be incredibly harsh on myself. As you can see, this is occasionally a recipe for disaster.
(numbered not in order of importance but for reference) 1. Procrastination (for instance, I ought to be finishing a paper instead of writing this list) 2. Overthinking things 3. Not thinking things through enough (not really a contradiction with 2, I don't think), or perhaps best described as "being impulsive" 4. Lack of self-confidence 5. Too much self-critique 6. Getting overly obsessed over things for less than a week (I once convinced myself that I would learn Lojban, and I remained convinced until a couple days later when I decided to just stick to learning Spanish) 7. Being really bad at small talk (I can make small talk about Smalltalk, though! just not traditional small talk...) 8. I can't prevent myself from laughing in the face of terribly serious situations (I just think "oh god, what if I laughed... don't laugh... don't laugh", and then all of a sudden, I'm knee-deep in the funniest situation I've ever been in), particularly if I'm the one that caused the serious situation 9. I have a really bad short-term memory. I actually don't see this as too bad of a flaw, as it's almost a part of my personality/identity. 10. Having a persistent habit of making lists with ten items. EDIT: formatting fix I think that 7 and 4 are my biggest flaws, with 1 and 3 closely following those.
I have an unfortunate tendency to find other people crying funny. I know it's wrong and I don't find their emotional pain funny, but...have you ever seen someone cry? It just - something about it. I have to choke back a laugh. It's not an attractive thing and the way the face screws up, usually...plus sometimes when people are crying it sounds funny, I've mistaken tears for laughter sometimes. I'm a terrible person. On a side note, I'd really love it if no one decided I was a psychopath because of my Hubski posts today. I have feels, I swear. (They taste delicious.)
I guess so. Geez. I thought I was an asshole. I cant touch this. Can't say I cry too often, but on the off chance that I did, I think being laughed at might be enough to make me want to kill someone. Straight up heartless!I have an unfortunate tendency to find other people crying funny...I'm a terrible person.
Hey, I'm not saying I burst out in laughter or anything. I know it's inappropriate and I supress the reaction. Also, guys crying I generally find more scary. I have also laughed: - when I found out my grandparents died - when a boyfriend told me his (still-married-to-his-mother) father was gay Generally I think part of it is I tend to think, for a few seconds, that really bad news is just a joke.
1. I love that you are building on veen's post. 2. It sucks to be misunderstood or have a positive thing be taken as a negative. It seems like the migraine comment was her version of an apology, but here's something you could have texted immediately: "Of course you can look after yourself. You're amazing that way. I was trying to convey the idea that it's nice to have people who care about you. Your friend cares about you, and so do I." 3. I'm trying to convey the idea that there are things you can say immediately so that you don't have to overthink things. It was obvious that she took your statement the wrong way. Let her know, while at the same time agreeing with her and empowering her. 4. Flaws: trying to be helpful, when probably people just want to vent. Maybe a few others.
How amusing. I do appreciate your help, though. I told her something along the lines of: Perhaps another flaw of mine is a lack of confidence in pointing out others' flaws...Flaws: trying to be helpful, when probably people just want to vent.
That's not what I meant, I just think it's great you have friends that care about you. c: I know you can take care of yourself. Sometimes I say things and they come out wrong, I apologize. I love you.
I'm self-centered. I don't want to be. I do genuinely care about others but I never do a thing without first thinking about how it's going to effect myself. On the other hand I worry entirely too much about what other people think about me. I try too hard to make others like me, and therefore I rarely let people get to know who I really am, rather than just my public persona. And I over-think to say the least. There is usually not a single moment of my day that my brain is not beating something to death inside the walls of my head, and over-analyzing it to the point at which I just want to sleep to stop thinking. Although, I think that how your brain thinks about things is part of what makes you who you are, and it's not something that you can control. So I wouldn't exactly call it a "flaw."
I over-do everything; drinking, eating, sexing, working, playing etc. -Not the best at moderation. I can be really arrogant. It's a family trait, but then we're the best so that's probably why. -Shit, there I go again.
Hmm.. I can't respect or learn from a teacher if they aren't a good person, I'm hard to motivate because I think too big picture and remember we're all going to die anyway a lot, I'm in poor physical shape because I was only medically cleared for ANY exercise about two years ago and I have very little idea how to work out regularly, and I beat myself up every time I go to the gym for not being instantly good at physical activity, I over think every little interaction with women I have a romantic interest in because I'm insecure, having been 'the chubby kid' growing up, and what's worse, I was the chubby Smart! kid. I have a hard time taking anyone who develops an attraction or like of me seriously because "I wouldn't want to be a member of any club that would accept a person like me." I have a hard time accepting help when I'm struggling because I'm a first born perfect child, and everything should come as easily to me as breathing, I can't stay organized to save my life, but I'm great at designing organizational paradigms that people can instantly, and intuitively use with ease, And I can't feel good about anything I've accomplished because I should be working on the next thing, or I didn't do it 100% right damn it.
Stopping by extra late to say I love this and I hope you keep it up
The first thing that comes to mind is fear; so many ridiculous things that people do that they most likely take for granted frighten the crap out of me to even consider doing. It prevents me from doing things that'd genuinely improve my life, possibly, because it pushes me out of my safe comfort zone. I also suspect that Im really self centered despite people telling me that Im a great friend, that Im kind, ect.
In moments of weakness, I think that I feel more than those around me. That I observe more. That I think more. That I'm more sensitive to the minute traces of the good, the bad, and the ugly out there in the world. In this mindset, people become so much less real than I do. Basically, I suffer from light solipsism. Even in this confession part of me believes I am confirming my superior powers of introspection and self-awareness.