Every night while I'm lying in bed, instead of filling my mind with coked-out naked supermodels desperate to satisfy my every desire, all that ever comes up is me sitting at a table in a bookstore. Maybe there's a microphone there or something. Everyone is really excited! And there's a line of coked-out supermodels stretching all the way out the door and around the block, and they're all holding my book! It's got my name on it and everything. A cool cover. They all want me to sign it. After the book signing I head over to the set of the Today Show, where a coked-out and naked Savannah Guthrie is interviewing me. She asks where I get my ideas. She mentions that I'm at the top of the Times Bestseller List for the fiftieth week in a row. She laughs a lot. Then I fly home on my private jet made of money to work on my second novel.
That's all I want out of life guys.