I want a job and access to travel and experience. I want a job that provides me with enough money to build a life around. I want these things so that I can continue writing, which I feel helps me function as a person. As far as romantic relationships go, I don't know, but that doesn't bother me.
Travel is at the top of my list. However, as selfish as I know this is, I hate speaking about my plans with other people. The topic is almost a sacred one. Weird?
Yes, I think that's weird, but I'm just some dude. I like talking about travel plans as people may have traveled to the area I plan to go on any given trip and can offer more reliable recommendations. I really don't care for guidebooks and honestly, I think they can ruin places. Plus, the "writers" they employ are on tight or no budget and tend not to get things right unless it's a heavily traveled destination already. On the other hand, talking about travel plans with people who don't travel is a drag. You know, the kind of people who only eat McDonald's because they are afraid of intestinal parasites. McDonald's is good for clean bathrooms and occasionally as a source of hashbrowns, not as a meal plan for traveling. Anyway, whatever works for you.
A dear friend of mine who often takes things far too seriously told me it was of utmost importance I determine "what I want" out of dating/relationships because otherwise "it wasn't fair." I pointed out that I didn't think dating was fair in the first place. I don't think it really can be. Moreover, I don't think 'fair' is necessarily the best choice in all cases. He then proceeded to tell me I needed to take an "honest inventory" of myself to determine what my flaws and strengths were, and this would somehow tell me what I would want in a relationship. (I asked him if this was a 12-step program and that he knew I didn't believe in God. I was feeling witty.) Anyway, that's part of what brought this all up. Don't know what I want from 'romance.' What I've been doing hasn't really been bothering me though so I figured I'd just keep it up. -- aka, casual dating with no real end or commitment in sight. Gets messy sometimes though. Am going to draw back from some of it to get more me time, hopefully. Oh, and less drinking.
I think it's easy to speak in generalities of what we want. For example, "I want to find a good woman to marry" is a really, really broad statement that is easily true. If I had to answer specifically, well then that would change day to day while falling within a general range. I don't know that I would trust someone who was incredibly specific in what they wanted. I mean, not to bag on anyone with disabilities, but I know an autistic guy who is incredibly specific about how he needs things to be and he's often upset because things don't go his way. I understand that my analogy is pretty sloppy, but my brain is pudding right now. In short, this stuff is messy. Like you, I'm taking some "me" time, since it often seems that when I get the ball rolling, it turns into an avalanche.
I don't even know as I want to find a good man to marry! Ha. For me marriage isn't a priority. I don't even really view it as a viable option, certainly not at this point in my life. I don't even know if it's something I want - maybe eventually - not what I want now, though, by god. It's like I don't know what I want, more like I know what I vehemently don't want.