If promo videos aren't your thing, here are my personal favorites from this month's issue:
Cleaning Up After the Dog: "Pull plastic bag from pocket and wave it like a flag or diploma. Make sure many people congratulate your care for the community."
A Senior Citizen’s Guide to Internet Pornography: "Your favorite search engine is the best place to start your journey into the sexually explicit. Many seniors use Yahoo! and Google for looking up old friends or getting the show times of movies to nap through. But did you know that search engines are also a great way to find out about young horny sluts who like having their feet massaged?"
Jeezus Changed My Oil Today: "Jesus takes my money, smiles, gives me the change, waves me on my way. Have a good one, he says, then turns to the next car in line, pops the next hood, pulls out his oil wand to service another and I imagine he’s cleansed my car saintly, extracted my sins and my guilt, my oily intentions like a drive-through confession."