I was raised by a feminist single mother who wouldn't let me play the flute or the clarinet because they were too "girly". I played a brass instrument and was the only girl. My mother was always working and was able to have a great career despite her lack of a formal education.
I earned my degree in an IT field and was proud to be the only girl in many of my courses. I loved challenging men and hated the notions that men "are from mars and women are from venus". In my mind this was just an excuse for men to be jerks. I had an amazing career and was quickly promoted. I was also known as a bitch and a "bulldog", quoted by a senior manager. I was tough and had to prove that men couldn't walk all over me. I was constantly stressed but thought I was creating the life I had dreamed of. Working hard and a successful career was all I dreamed of. I had my first child but that couldn't stop me. I was working hard at work, working hard at home, and so was my husband. We were exhausted but physically and mentally.
Fast forward to today. I am now a mom of 2 girls. I work part-time. Most of my days are spent cooking, cleaning, car pooling & spending time in my kids class. My job is now secondary & my family is first.
Along the way I figured out something very critical. In our success and money driven times we forgot about our children. Its not the fault of men or women. Its the fault of our society. Its perfectly acceptable today to let your kids be left & raised by a stranger for 12 hours a day while both parents are out exhausting themselves so they can buy that extra 200$ pair of jeans. Some people might say well in these times both parents need to bring home the money & work long hours so we afford to live. Times are tough. I call BS on this. We don't need more "stuff". We are so driven to consume. We use it to fill the hole. If we all took a step back I think this would be clear. I am NOT saying this applies to EVERYONE. Some parents truly do not have a choice. I get it. These are not the people I am talking about & these people are not the majority.
Feminism "allowed" us to get out there and get great jobs. Now we can do it all, have it all! But do we really have it all? Are 2 preoccupied parents too busy and tired to truly invest in raising quality human beings having it all? We really wonder whats wrong with our society and how we got here?
Now, I am totally grateful for all the progress that was made for women's rights. I do not blame working moms. I am so sick of mommy wars and all the labels that we love to put on everyone. I don't want to polarize the discussion. What i question is why have we forgotten about the children? and when I say we I mean men and women. Dads can stay at home too. I am talking about quality of life and what we are teaching are children is most important.
I know my ideas are unpopular but I would love to understand how others feel about this and have a really open discussion. Again, I am not bashing working moms just looking to see if others have had similar experiences.