Notwithstanding deficits of empathy or understanding, popular language leaves us ill-equipped. I've worked in service, and have addressed customers by the gender titles of maam or sir, not because of a desire to define them in that way, but because there are no well-known alternatives for directly addressing someone in that situation.

Language changes, but slowly and with difficulty. I'd be curious what alternatives exist to maam and sir for directly addressing a stranger in a polite way.

In Chinese there is no he or she, only ta. However, strangers are addressed by gender-specific titles.

I used to have long hair, and have been maam'ed on numerous occasions. Sometimes the person corrected themselves, and sometimes they didn’t. I never enjoyed it.