"volatility" means "nobody knows what's going on but everyone is jumpy."

The biggest problem with stock markets is they trade on perception. Would you consider perception to be unsettled at the moment? Ergo, volatility. Perhaps more importantly, however, nearly all of the market is a derivative of itself at this point so reality has to go through a Laplace transform in order to move the market.

You don't know what that transform is and neither does anybody else. Thus, volatility.