When I was 23 years old I went to the Blind Pig in Ann Arbor to see a band play. I was donning a maize and blue Michigan shirt, as one does when they're from Ann Arbor. It happened that it was the day of MI vs. OSU in Ann Arbor.

As I was leaving the venue, talking with the band that had played, I heard someone yell out, "hey asshole!" I turned to look who was yelling and who they thought was an "asshole." -Turned out, I was the appointed asshole. As I turned around I was met by a right handed punch directly to my nose.

I rose moments later to see a guy dressed all in red, sprinting towards, and jumping in to a car.

Five hours later, when the doctor finally saw me, he let me know that my nose had already began to re-harden and therefore I would have to wait two weeks to come back in and have them re-break it again and set it.

An Ohio State fan broke my nose twice.

I will never know who the asshole that sucker punched me was. I will never be able to repay him with a similarly unkind offense. But, I can take schadenfreud every time OSU football loses. Unfortunately, that is not often.

Today #3 ranked Michigan takes on #2 ranked OSU. If you have no dog in this fight, then please join me in rooting for Michigan, if nothing else, to know that this monster of a human being is somewhere, out there, suffering.



I was knocked out at a gig after downing a bottle of Mezcal before we went out. I blame the worm for not being able to adequately defend myself. All I remember is getting knocked down and seeing some ugly bloke standing over me menacingly and kicking me in the ribs. Inebriated logic insisted I get up and set about righting the unjust universe only to have my lights knocked out after a very brief, drunken, flailing scuffle, quickly ended by a beautiful clean blow - according to my (cowardly) companions. Next thing I know I'm in the manager's office with a bottle of smelling salts under my nostrils surrounded with the rest of my friends. The promoter was there too and after a brief chat we were led out. I don't remember anything else about the trip home. Had a lovely shiner for about a week after though and I couldn't chew solid food for a similar amount of time.

posted by thenewgreen: 781 days ago