How do you reform an agency authorized to use force? With more force, of course! (Though we still affirm that coercion is wrong, naturally.)
Instead of "rentacops are the only cops," how about weighing the pros and cons of possible alternatives? The alternative doesn't have to be perfect to be an improvement, if the current arrangement is as bad as it appears.
The alternative might not be a good fit for every situation, but it might work better than expected in surprisingly challenging places.
If we can't have a discussion, we can at least have a few laughs...
...at the risk of being reminded that the other side of the joke isn't very funny.