It's time I ask some more things I imagine children learn naturally as they grow up. I'm leaving for Tomsk tomorrow and may not be able to reply or add questions due to lack of Internet access for some time.

1. When is it appropriate to share my life's details in a conversation? There are situations I know of that don't permit this - for example, when another person spills their guts to you, you better shut up and listen, only talking (and asking questions only) when it's mandated necessary. How to figure out whether it's that kind of a situation, and how to know when and what it is appropriate to say?

2. What are the signs of another person liking me? I imagine that different people express their attitudes differently, but what're the generally-common behaviors to look out for?

3. When to respond, in general? I grew up accepting the idea that every reply to my question should illicit a response from myself, no matter how uninformative, which is clearly unproductive in communication. What are general guidelines for when responding is appropriate and/or necessary?

4. What level of verbal communication is generally accepted to be the necessary minimum (if there's any)?

5. How important is politeness? In interpersonal relationships, is it the same as respect?

6. What are the general lines of being straight-forward with a person? What's best not put blunt in a conversation?

7. When is it okay to disregard other person's opinion (if there is such a time)?

8. What is not okay to apologize for?

9. Is it okay to ignore another person's bad position and not help or refuse to do so when asked if their situation is not dire (life and death, as well as very important life changes)? If so, why and when? I keep hearing about it from people and can't grasp it: my mind strives to help even those whom, I see now, didn't need help at the time. It's a problem - I can't refuse people in need - and I'm trying to figure out a solution.

10. How do I assert that I want to be treated with basic respect? What does it mean to be respected? What does it mean to respect others?

11. How do I ask for something in relationship? What are things I can't ask of others (that, respectfully, they can only give me if they so wish)?

12. How do I politely decline an invitation to spend time with a person I don't want to spend time with?

13. In what situation can one act "cruelly merciful" (for example, by telling someone of their big flaw in a blunt way in order for the other person to grow)?

14. In what situations is one justified in acting cruelly (for example, by telling someone how big of a douchebag they are)? Is there such a type of situations?

15. How do I recognize a person who wants to grow and improve from a person who only moans about their bad luck or other such nonsense?

16. What do I do if someone compells me (in ways ranging from asking to demanding) to do something I don't want to?

17. How does voice (and its tone) affect interpersonal relationships, in general?

18. When and in what form is it okay to express anger?

19. What's the best mindset to apply when encountering ghastly social issues (xenophonia, racism, sexism, elitism etc.)? What's best to do when encountering them?

20. When is it appropriate to call people "idiots" (or other such claim of lack of intelligence and/or rigorous thought process)? I hear people using such words at times, and I can't figure out why is it fine sometimes and sometimes not so much.

21. When is it appropriate to call bullshit? What can be called bullshit? How terrible the (mis)information has to be to qualify as such?


galen:

That's a lot, and I'm not gonna lie, I couldn't answer many of those. But I may be able to help on a few. Check it:

    4. What level of verbal communication is generally accepted to be the necessary minimum (if there's any)?

It really depends on who you're with, and the context (personally and societally). As a small example, when I work shifts with my boss, we usually politely greet each other ("hey," "what's up," "how's it going"), but after that it's mostly silent (unless we have to ask something work related). We know each of us can see and infer what the other's taking care of, and take care of the remaining parts. But there's other guys that I work with where I know they'll be uncomfortable with silence, so we keep up a fair amount of chatter-- small talk, saying what we're doing, etc. That's really just feeling it out-- if someone seems uncomfortable whenever it's silent, you might go for some small talk.

    5. How important is politeness? In interpersonal relationships, is it the same as respect?

In my opinion, politeness is paramount. Even people who arent polite themselves will (generally) recognize and appreciate it. For me, it's a matter of compassion: politeness at its core is considering how others feel and letting that impact your own actions. So that's not just "please," "thank you," or holding the door: although if those make people around you feel better, go for it.

Hope this helps! I may come back and answer some more if I have time later.


posted by ThatFanficGuy: 899 days ago