Belonging: close or intimate relationship

Who wouldn't want that? Right? Isn't that one of life's great pursuits? I'm pretty sure Belle and Sebastian dedicated an entire album to it. And to be fair to the rest of art.... MUCH art is either dedicated in some way or created to get nearer to this inate desire for a "close or intimate relationship."

Now, this desire for a close or intimate relationship doesn't need to be fulfilled romantically. In fact, I would argue that this need for "belonging," is more often fulfilled in our live's by connecting with some sort of idea, group, community or team. For example, as a child I was a devout fan of the Detroit Red Wings. If you were a Colorado Avalanche fan I immediatley despised you. No joke. It would have been very difficult for you to convince me that you had any redeaming qualities.

This is of course rediculous and while I still root for the red wings I realize that the same fervor and affection I have for my Wings, Colorado fans have for their "lanche's" ---(how do you abbreviate Avalanche?)

That whole "my" Red Wings thing is where it gets weird though. People get so invested in their sports teams, their politicians, their religion, their favorite bands that they attach them to their identity.

Identity: the fact of being who or what a person or thing is

When someone or something threatens "who or what you are," you are hard wired to respond defensively. You are conditioned to protect yourself. It's innate. You are under attack. If someone is taking the Christ out of christmas, you are going to get pissed because YOU are under attack because you identify strongly as a christian. If someone is drawing a picture of Mohammed, you are goint to get pissed because YOU identify strongly as a muslim. If someone says Steve Yzerman is an overrated pussy then... well, then that person clearly doesn't know anything about hockey, but yeah... I may feel a bit threatened because a part of me still identifies with being a Red Wing fan.

We have this innate need to belong to something and this need is a GOOD thing in many regards. Hell, it may be why a lot of people seek out Hubski or other aggregators. We are pack animals, we need each other. But, it would be nice if we didn't need to go outside of actual inerpersonal exchanges to seek belonging. I'm pretty tired of religion. I'm really sick of it.

I'm also very tired of politics and nationalism. I like Bernie Sanders a lot. I've given the guy money and I've convinced no less than 8 people to vote for him, but I don't "identify" myself as a Bernie Sanders supporter. If someone doesn't like him I don't feel threatened.

I'm getting tired of all the hurt that the need for "belonging" is causing in the world. It's a real shame.

John Lennon famously sang, "I don't believe in Beatles, I just believe in me." --I think this is about where I'm at with things.

So, I used to identify as a Red Wings fan. These days, I would answer the title of this post with "I'm a musician." or "I'm a father." rather than I'm a ___ism." What about YOU?

How would you answer the question, "I'm a ____?"

I might say, "I'm a Hubskier."

:-)


cgod:

'My gut feeling when I saw the title was "dick".

It's been a rough week.

My kid won't listen to me and do what she's told, just put your fucking pajamas on kid. She was sent to bed with none of the nightly fun privileges she normally gets. Spent twenty minutes sobbing in her room. Makes me feel like shit.

The drunken Somali kid that I didn't beat up when he wouldn't get out of my shop a week or two ago... You might have seen him mentioned in a conversation with steve a little bit ago.... Well he came in the shop and wouldn't leave and I gave him a little beat down... I could have used my words... I tried to use my words but he wasn't responding well, I started to give him a gentle hustle to the door, he started poking me in the ribs telling me something along the lines of "hell no bro." He just didn't want to get pushed out the door, I could have used my words, I worked ten years in a bar and never laid a hand on a patron... I picked him up and slammed him on the tile floor. It was the absolute wrong way to handle shit...

They just opened a fancy grocery store right around the corner from my house. People go in that place, mouths a gape, like they just entered Dolly Land or the Magic Kingdom. That store is the end of on street parking at my house. Shit annoys me.

Third shooting of the week happened at 4:30 this morning a few blocks from the shop. So we have one shooting half a block from the shop, one half a block from the house and now a few blocks away.

A family friend got sick two days ago and died this morning. I only met the guy a few times but he's important to a bunch of other people in my family. Guy was only a year older than I am. I never heard anyone say anything but what a great guy he was, he was my sister in law's best friend. People are all kinds of fucked up over it.

I feel tired and ragged out. I feel like a dick. I have little patience or love for people right now and an just going to have to act the part. Ah well. Wish I had something profound or uplifting to say.


posted by thenewgreen: 1210 days ago