Hi all of hubski.

I want to say something to y'all. I need to write another #stateofthelil report, but I've been too busy. I shouldn't give up on dating yet, but OftenBen's therapist is probably married or gay or 30 years younger than me.

So far there's been the holocaust guy (we'll be kind of friends, though, if he can handle his anxiety and depression; the "disgraced" doctor that I told a few of you about; then there's the married guy who admitted to already being in a committed relationship but wanted to "audition me," he said, as his girlfriend; then there was the scammer whose picture was posted at a dating scamathon website. There was a guy 30 years younger than me, but I didn't want to meet him. I will change my gender preference and see if anything more interesting comes up.

Now the worst thing is this: when I got home from work just now I had an email from a recently divorced person that I've known since university (he was my TA). He subsequently became a well-known novelist and person of ongoing interest. He sent me three emails confirming our lunch date, and not hearing from me went ahead to the location anyway.

Whaaaa!!!??? Am I that addled that I didn't even know I had a date with him. I have absolutely no recollection of making this date, and my usual computer is in another city so I can't even check to see if there's evidence. All I remember is writing him saying that I wasn't interested in lunch, I was only interested in cuddling and giggling. When he wrote back saying that giggling would be okay but his Italian girlfriend might be upset about the cuddling, I promptly lost interest. So all I can say is WTF? There was no lunch date. He's hallucinating, not me. But maybe I'm more addled than I know. So that's the current state of the lil. I'm much much more fabulous than I sound -- and much less as well. Luckily steve is always there for me --- and BLOB_CASTLE just sent me a postcard... and Kevin from the fatal train crash still writes me.

So read this fast because I might delete it. Bye for now hubski, I'm always here for you.

Edit: and I mustn't forget the "Cleanse yourself" guy who, after I told him about the disgraced doctor, insisted that I had been negatively affected and now had to "cleanse myself" before we could talk further.

I said, "I'd prefer to integrate my bad experiences rather than cleanse myself of them."

He replied "NO! You have to cleanse yourself." This was all on an IM function of the website.

At that point I disconnected.