Hello, everyone.

I've been going back and forth on making a post on this, but after consulting what I consider the core here, they gave me the confidence to post, and gave me some help as well. I consider all these people saints and have helped me so much over the years, and now they come through for me in a true time of need. I cannot be thankful enough to all of you, and I will be sending you all something just for listening to me.

The long and the short of what's happening for those unaware is that my mother has cancer again. She and I have been living in extreme poverty for a very long time, this is her second (far worse) round of cancer, and I had to fly out unexpectedly this week to help out with some things. I didn't have any time to make any planning or savings (which is already hard with how little I make), cut into what little money I had to help pay for the plane ticket. I was hoping to have a bit of funds to make it through, but Bank of America pulled their classic fucking me over and held deposits until after payments and fees put me $145 in the hole instead of up $100.

After hopes of being here for only a week, I am now looking at a minimum of two weeks because the hospital. After being in a rush to get her in for surgery, has now bounced her around with no news for a week (As an aside, who the fuck tells a diabetic she's going to go in for surgery TODAY, so don't eat, then wait until 5:00 PM to tell her they would be able to fit her in, three days in a fucking row.) On top of that, my mom admitted that the disability office hasn't paid her yet, which means she hasn't had money or really eaten for a week now. Thankfully her insurance is covering her medication for now.

So, needless to say, I'm in a bad spot. I get paid two weeks after each pay period, so I'm going to be without money a lot longer than I thought, which is going to put me behind on rent as well. My mother doesn't have anything and I need to get her food and something to just get her out of the house and bed for a day. Beyond that, I need to get a plane ticket back home in a week or two here. I've never been one to ask for money, or even talk about money. We've never had anything, but we always managed to scrape by. But... I just don't see it as possible right now. With all of that, I'm going to need assistance. I really don't want to ask for it, and I'm extremely embarrassed doing so, from whatever conditioning I've had. But there's nowhere else I feel more comfortable and trusting and close to people as I do on Hubski. I convinced myself to make this earlier when I realized that if someone here needed help, I'd want them to ask and I'd want to help in any way I could. So here I am.

Looking at everything, I think I'm looking at a need of around $800. My plane ticket is going to be about $250, food and travel for mom and I over the next week I hope to have about $200, assuming that those groceries will last until disability finally pays her. The last $350 should cover what I come up short on with rent.

I really hate asking anyone for money. I don't expect anything of anyone. Literally any amount helps me tremendously. I don't know how to put into word what any bit means to me. I'm looking into starting a gofundme page, but I don't want to start something yet that has fees going to a company. I don't feel comfortable asking for money and having part of it going to something the person isn't giving to yet. If you are able to give, and you want to, I'd appreciate it so much, but please do not feel obligated. But if you do want to, please shoot me a PM and I'll give you my email address for whatever method you're capable of. I have venmo, square, paypal, or anything else you'd prefer. If you have any questions, I'm more than willing to answer them. I'll be around a lot for the next few days.

Again, thank you all so much for being there for me for so long.