You: So what's your first month been like?
Me: Interesting, I guess.
You: What's been interesting?
Me: This is my only ever online dating experience. First, I had to figure out which ones were lying and which were just hallucinating. Still, I was surprised at the response from people who ... who...
You: Who what?
Me: Who didn't seem to be what they said they were.
You: Give me an example.
Me: OK, well, if someone says he has a PhD, you'd think he might be able to write a sentence.
You: Not necessarily. Maybe he is dictating his sentences into a device of some sort. He can punctuate, but the device can't or maybe his PhD is from another country. Oz, say.
Me: And then there's the folks who are wildly and enthusiastically in love with me before they've met me. That's a little inappropriate, don't you think?
You: To quote Johnny Cash
Love is a burning thing
And it makes a fiery ring.
Bound by wild desire
I fell into a ring of fire.
Me: Yeah, I guess.
You: Have you met anyone?
Me: Yes, I actually met one of the "phd" guys, although his emails were so tentative and fearful, I thought one of us would back out. He said things like, "We can meet for five or ten minutes or perhaps a little longer. I'll be wearing an African Hunter's hat which is dark green---I guess I'll get through this, then like all things--it'll be over!"
His first message compared us to refugees in the Holocaust. He wrote,
"Together, we face terrors in the holocaustal concrete.
Where are you?
At the work camp the people disappear. What is that smoke?
Perhaps you and I will be one, two, three, or more, refugees in love
Who slowly slowly, find their faces -- each other's faces."
You: That's not very flirty. You met him??
Me: Yup, we had fun. We barely mentioned the Holocaust.
you live in a crazy world, Lil. Good luck with the dating!