I'm still sort of processing this. The whole campus is, it seems. I didn't know the victims, although I'm Facebook friends with one. It's all very surreal.
Another member of this program I'm in, who I happen to dislike and be disliked by, sent a message to the whole program saying "If anyone needs anything, remember we have a counseling center and you have a friend in me." And my first reaction was, "Well I don't think that's true." How fucked up is that?
It's strange and surreal and heartening to see how immediately and fully the campus came together. It's reminded me that the professors, the upperclassmen, the football players, the heavy drinkers are all human too.
So today we mourn.
Not that fucked up.
A best friend of mine of 10 years took his life three days ago. His brother has said that he doesn't want anyone to know on Facebook or the like. Nobody in our high school gave a shit about him when he was alive. The last thing he wants is for a bunch of them to pretend to care now that he's dead.
I'm not saying that people are inherently selfish or whatever. I'm not making a statement of any sort since I'm still processing what happened, on top of the three projects and midterm I have this week. But I think it's natural to assume that people don't really care until it's too late and we're reminded that everything is fragile, everything is possible.