But why? As it turns out, there are many reasons.
The article skipped the real reason.
To personally spite me. Here I've been, hoping that we'd get a presidential race that was of reasonable length, where both sides spent there time trying to reasonably convey their opinions to people, and then at the end of it we'd vote for who we thought best. I said hope.
I was betting on the fact that we'd get a horrible B -tier Clinton/Bush election and it would be a beautiful crescendo to our era of 90s-00s nostalgia, what with the return of super hero movies, Jurassic Park, and of course a Clinton/Bush ticket. Poetic garbage.
No. We have a fucking circus among the Republicans competing for who can smear the most shit on their face, a Democratic party that is giving the most dispassionate support for Hillary that I've maybe ever seen for a human, and Bernie Sanders off in the corner somewhere not getting important voting blocs. And it's not even November of 2015. We're well over a year away from elections and it feels like we've been here forever.
You know what we should do instead of this? Take a big pool of candidates, put them in to an office building for 3 weeks and reveal every detail of their personal history, give them a full rectal exam, send the results to the internet, and then people can vote based off all that info along with a 5 minute video of each candidate insulting their opponents. It's the same goddamn thing. It is functionally the same.
Who cares what their platforms are anyway? Donald Trump won't build a wall facing Mexico if he's elected. He won't have the money. None of this matters. Fuck everything.