ADHD can be really difficult, I get it. I suffer from it myself. I has put a strain on my academics, friendships and even my own personal happiness. That being said, I don't like most of the ADHD online community. It doesn't motivate or even support me, it makes me feel inept.
I don't mean to pick on reddit, but I sometimes feel like /r/adhd is a toxic and enabling community. They are a great "safe place" where people can vent about their struggles, but I can't browse there anymore because I feel as if they drag me down. I remember a specific thread that said how kids should not be punished. In the comments a grown ass 32 year old was saying how people must talk to them in a certain way or they will break down and cry. That can't be a good practice for that person, but yet this wasn't looked own upon there, it was just accepted. I don't get it at all. There is threads of people saying how they just can't do certain things, and how trying is not worth it.
I get where they are coming from, most of society does not understand our condition, most worth while doctors very expensive and the system is broken and easily abused. That being said, negativity is not the solution. Treating your kid like a special snow flake won't help.
I don't feel better among that group. See how they are okay with complacency and mediocrity just makes me sick. I know there is certain things about my condition I just won't be able to fix, but at least under stand it and work around it instead of enabling yourself. Sometimes we do need that type of unconditional support, but you can't linger in that "safe space" forever, if you want to do anything worthwhile their will be pain involved.
I know a lot a people with ADHD (including myself) and most of them do not participate in ADHD communities because the disorder is not a big part of how they identify in life. They just accept and deal with their ADHD as best they can and get on with things.
I have ventured in /r/adhd from time to time and even commented on posts, but mostly I don't feel like the community has anything to offer me. I don't need any support and I've accepted who I am, so I participate in other communities that actually interest me.