Hi hubski, I could use some help, if you’ve got some to give. Long time lurker; first time poster. Pardon the length, the first three paragraphs are information, the last is my problem, if you want to skip to that.
Background: I graduated college, and I find myself in that place so many others have. I don’t know what to do next. Please don’t tell me to do what I love, or what makes me happy. I don’t know. I can’t answer that. I’ve never had heroes, I’ve never had a plan. And only now, this is a problem.
The Past: I studied in art history and telecommunications. I did an internship with a non-profit working social media. I did office work for an attorney. I wrote some poetry. I liked researching in school. I like to learn, I like to talk. Here’s what I’ve got going for me: computer skills, excel, word, after effects, photoshop, social media, html, css, writing background, photography, online moderation, and the certainty that I can learn anything if I try.
Right Now: And now here I am. I’ve been stuck for almost a year now, beating myself up for not doing more in college, not making more influential friends, not joining more clubs, not being more. I let that self-doubt debilitate me for months. It stopped me from volunteering, from branching out, from being on my own. My parents took me in, so I have a place to live, food to eat, and a ticking clock. Judge me as you will. But now, finally, I think I’m ready to move on.
The Problem: I have about five thousand dollars saved. I’m expecting about two thousand more from my grandfather’s inheritance. I could buy a car, I could travel, I could live in the woods for a couple months, I could host a really big party. But I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to die in the empty cornfields of the Midwest with little to be proud of. I could work, but I don’t know what to apply for. I would move anywhere to find something good. I think I need a cause. Could someone find me a cause? Something to work for. If somewhere paid my room and board and made me feel like I mattered, I can’t think of anything better. Help me? Give me suggestions; tell me I’ll be ok.
You're going to be okay.
Here's your fundamental problem: your world is structureless for the first time since you were four and you don't know what to do. 'sokay. You'll get over that.
Here's the wrong approach:
This is an internal visionquest, friend, and external influences are only going to postpone the inevitable. You need to find what you want to do with your life. Sure, ask for help but know that the buck stops under your hat and there's nothing you can do about it.
My suggestion? Get a job, any job, such that you are earning money and being responsible. Note that I say "job" not "career" because the goal here is to buy time and headroom not fulfill your destiny. Maybe a job with travel. Maybe a job helping people. blackbootz did Americorps, if I'm not mistaken, and that seems to have been pretty awesome for him. My own parents did three tours in the Peace Corps. The point is to be remunerated for interacting with other people so that you can see the world without feeling beholden to your parents. Independence is a hell of a drug.
Don't touch the money.