Calling it a “major-ass haul” that would provide “some much-needed scratch,” Vice President Joe Biden reportedly scored over 800 feet of copper wire from a foreclosed home in the D.C. suburbs, White House sources confirmed Thursday.

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“At this point, I’m just looking for a dealer who won’t dick me over,” Biden added. “It’s tough finding a trustworthy metal theft ring. Some of the guys in this biz can be real pieces of shit.”

I've never read an Onion article about Biden or Kerry that didn't cheer me up and make me laugh.

posted 3472 days ago