So I've been going through the process of cleansing the chakras. Whether you believe in such things or not, it's definitely a process to lay all the things before you that cause you fear, distress, shame, etc. and overcome them. I've even been drinking onion and banana juice (an old Indian guru concoction) to help with the cleanse. Regardless of it the juice helps, it actually tastes pretty nice.
So I was working today on the second chakra which is blocked by shame and guilt. I won't get into the nitty gritty of it all, but I've really done some nasty stuff that has hurt a lot of people, including those nearest to me. Keeping secrets in for so long has made the forgiveness of myself a laborious task. To open up this chakra and let the energy pass, one must forgive themselves in order to alleviate the pain/guilt.
But what does it really mean to forgive? I've never had to forgive anyone else so I'm not familiar with that experience. How does it effect your relationship with that person. If you've ever had to forgive yourself, how does that change your relationship with yourself?
Thank you in advance. Peace.
Just to be clear, you are talking about forgiving yourself for past behaviour, not forgiving others for wrongs done to you.
You ask some good questions B_C and it's nice to see you in this space again.
It reminds me a little of Step 9 of AA's 12-step program that involves making amends to others and understanding that making amends is not exactly the same as asking for forgiveness. It's also about showing intention to do no further wrong.
(Mind you, I'm not an AA expert. There's lots to learn from AA programs and writings on line, and they offer some answers to your question: "What does it mean to forgive?")
You say
If those people still love you, perhaps they are waiting to hear from you. It seems to me that it would be hard to sincerely forgive yourself without first acknowledging to the other people an awareness of the pain you caused them and a realization that they may no longer trust you.
Your hope is that they will one day see that you have changed direction and are worthy of their love and trust.
What does it really mean to forgive yourself?
I'm not sure we ever really can or should totally forgive ourselves. But I think we can and should acknowledge wrongs done and take a new path.
Edit: We forgive ourselves by realizing that when the wrongs were done, we were the person we were. We had the needs, the pain, the awareness that we had. Now we are addressing our past deficits. We may not totally forgive ourselves, but we accept our past self, a self reacting to everything we faced; and move towards our reconstructed self, a self that considers choices before reacting.
I'm not sure if that is as clear as I'd like it to be. May edit again.
Sentence yourself to some kind of community service as a way of showing the sincerity of your new path.
It depends on what one's current relationship is with one's self. What is it like now? Do you give yourself a LOT of leeway? Do you make a million excuses for yourself? Would you trust you?