HAH! This isn't a Hubskina post. Joke's on you guys.

So I got Kingdom Hearts HD and reached the fight with Sephiroth and died about 15 times. All I could think was, "how the fuck did 11 year old me do this ten years ago?

Here's some ridiculous reference:

Just to give you an idea of how ridiculous this is, the guy in black has multiple attacks that can pretty much instantly kill you and require either power-leveling so that you have higher defense and can take the brunt of his attacks to heal afterwards, or counter every attack he dishes out PERFECTLY so that you can take zero damage. 11 year old me apparently had enough time on his hands to make one of those two things happen.

It was the moment I watched this video that I realized that lots of people are way better at videogames then I ever will be. Here's a trip through some of them.

Let's start with fighting games, which I have never been good at! And even better, let's start with the greatest moment in fighting game history. Hands down. Bar none. It will never get this good ever again.

What you just witnessed was the stuff of legends. I'll break it down.

It's Daigo v. Justin, two of the best fighting game guys since fighting games became a thing. The score is 1:1 in Street Fighter, best two out of three. Justin has got Daigo on the ropes, barely a sliver of health left. He decides to finish Daigo off by hitting him with a super combo.

This is where the magic happens. In this iteration of Street Fighter, blocking an attack still does "chip damage", which means that even if you're blocking, you'll still lose a bit of health. The only way to offset that is by "parrying", which is where you input a series of button presses at precisely the right moment in order to take zero damage.

However, you have to parry every hit that gets registered in a combo in order to not get hurt. And you have to do it a mili-second before the attack actually registers. You have to predict that attack BEFORE IT EVEN HAPPENS. Are you catching on? That super combo that Justin uses with his character, Chun-Li, is a 17-hit combo. Mothafuckin Daigo parried an attack 17 times, then brought it back with a super combo of his own, winning the match, and the championship.


Moving from that, we hit the most quoted fight in fighting game history. Video is a biiiiit NSFW.

The Wombo Combo. Crazy audience aside, Smash Bros is actually a really technical and difficult to play fighter. The physics are all wonky, so it makes pulling off combos like these very difficult, especially when you have to rely on someone else to do it with you.

Cool, cool. Now for speed-runs. Here's a guy beating Dark Souls, considered one of the hardest games ever created, in less than half of an hour.

Here's a guy beating Half-Life in half of an hour. The annotations have some fascinating commentary as to how he does it.

This guy beats The Elder Scrolls 3: Morrowind in less than five minutes by exploiting a jump-spell and abusing healing potions. I spent like 200 hours on this game before I even beat it, just to give some comparison.

Here is a guy beating Quake in less than 15 minutes. If anything, check out the ridiculous rocket-propelled jumping about 2 minutes in.

Anatomy of an internet miracle isa great article that does a way better job than I could explaining a ridiculous, nigh-impossible playthrough of the game Spelunky. 25% luck, 25% skill, 50% prayer.

That's about all I have right now. I know most people aren't crazy about gaming here at Hubski, but hopefully some of my crazed enthusiasm rubs off on ya'll.


Thanks for taking me back to the days when I used to watch competitive Melee tournaments. I remember when Ken, the best Marth player in the world, was on smashboards offering to train anyone for like 25 bucks an hour.

Then Brawl came out.

But seriously, some of those Marth v. Marths... and the guy who mained Jigglypuff and somehow finished top three in tournaments anyway... those were the days.

posted by user-inactivated: 1864 days ago