Witness #34

             "Unfortunately, Witness 34 cannot take the stand.
             He was found with severe burns to over half his body,
             and was rushed to the nearest medical centre,
             where he remains, catatonic.

             No notes, no accelerant, no clues were found.

             Eyewitness accounts state there was a flash,
             the sound of breaking glass. A door opened,
             and 34 emerged, screaming and ablaze.

             We declare he is unfit to stand before the court,
             due to his act of spontaneous combustion.”