The melting ice dilutes the spirits in shimmering lines that spin outwards towards my hand. The smell is crystalline, pungent and dank, like something buried in a forest for a long time. I take a sip, and the flavor is a dark pool into which the whole forest has fallen and decomposed, pine needles, birch bark, ferns. It’s cloying sweet too, so sweet it hurts to swallow. My tongue feels numb and my breath tastes like blood.


These are fun to read.

    For me, Kelp Krunch is a damn near revelation. It must be the creation of a Zen master, for it is both everything and nothing. Neither intensely delicious nor powerfully filling, yet one bar is in fact strangely satisfying. It does not so much give the notion of sustenance as it eliminates the feeling of hunger. I will look for this again.
-Kelp Krunch? Never, ever would I try this product... unless I read a paragraph like that. Now, if I ever see them, I want to try them.

posted 2430 days ago