If anything I've realized that spending time online fighting with others is a complete waste of time. When I am on Reddit I choose to spend my time wisely. I do this by going ahead and participating in mental health and other support based subreddits to encourage and offer support to users who need it!

Seriously. I scoffed at those comments - it's hardly any proof that it's a woman, just nonsense.

This thing is more fun than a magic 8 ball.

Yep. I'm glued to it... I should input all of Taylor Swift's tweets and see what it says. Haha!

LoL.

You.

Finally.

Have.

What.

You.

Want.

YAY!

Thank You so much, can I hire you to follow me around and say nice things?

I am really sorry to hear this. Reminds me of what happened to me 6years ago. My family dog, a gorgeous German Shepard, died less than 3 months after my brother did. Sometimes, I will miss the dog more than my brother! It's crazy how connected to your pets you get.

Now I have a ball of love. He's not even a dog. Just a ball of love. I got him back in October after being 5years without a pet.

Anyway, I'm really sorry to hear this and feel what you are going through. I'm open to talk if you so want to. I know a bit about pet grieving, sometimes a little perspective on that helps too.

You know 'cuz test posts are for those important things in life....

Remember, everything will turn out ok, one way or another...

Thanks, no you weren't harsh - you made a lot of sense. I'm trying hard to better myself. Things happen and I don't always consider them big deals. I've lived on my own for 3years and never had to deal with another person so its a huge learning curve.

I feel horrid that I broke his trust like this. I never meant to hide anything. My friend was able to vouch for me saying that I was trying to tell him about the drugs but was super scared, couldn't figure out how to just say it. I owe her one.

Then like just now we were going over some of the money stuff and I was like, "Oh! This came across in my bank account recently." He was ticked off but understood that I didn't just mention X. I explained that it wasnt an attempt to hide it - it was just unimportant to me because of how long ago it happened and that they finally processed the payment recently hence our discussion.

He could at least understand that but would prefer me to think of these things before they post of give a heads up on "oh hey X is happening."

One thing I'm gonna work on is a list of things I think he should know about - financial, personal, health, etc., so that three aren't any secrets. Because, there should NEVER be secrets. I just suck at identifying information that could potentially blow up in my face. IE: The money stuff and even the drug stuff - I wasn't trying to hide it from him. It was blantaly on my phone and he grabbed it to take a picture and I didn't think twice about it.

So when he saw the messages and asked... I had a hard time explaining and he was furious. Didn't believe a thing I said, and that hurt because I finally got the balls to be honest about the struggle given the information he had. If I was really buy drugs or doing sneaky shit for real - it would've been better hidden. But it doesn't matter, I was struggling and hopefully I can figure myself out. I think that list will be helpful.

I ran Taylor Swift's Tweets about her Staples Center shows and this is what the tool had to say:

ou are social, confident and rational.

You are appreciative of art: you enjoy beauty and seek out creative experiences. You are altruistic: you feel fulfilled when helping others, and will go out of your way to do so. And you are empathetic: you feel what others feel and are compassionate towards them.

Your choices are driven by a desire for self-expression.

You consider both taking pleasure in life and independence to guide a large part of what you do. You are highly motivated to enjoy life to its fullest. And you like to set your own goals to decide how to best achieve them.

Thank You!!!!! :-)

Let us start with the important details first, how do I sign up for this newsletter?

I've had my fair share of stalking experience. Including one guy who recently got out of a 6year prison stay for wanting to stalk/murder myself & my family. He's currently on probation and I should be tons more careful with what I post online but, I have my own tactics to keep myself safe and I would actually be impressed if someone hunted me down (THAT IS NOT AN INVITATION!) because, I have everything so well hidden/dealt with from experience of being stalked by the worst that I know how to hide... even when I seem pretty public online.

Me: Lookit nowaypablo says I oughta gamble away my paycheck.

Boyfriend: If you do that, I will murder him. Do you want someone else hurt?

Me: Uh-huh, lemme share that with Hubski.

This reminds me of a story I heard about how a pregnant woman kept getting others inappropriately touching her belly without asking first. This woman would go ahead and cup those individuals face in return, saying something along the lines of, "how sweet are you." Most found it creepy and if they caused a stink she'd respond by telling them that they were invading her space so she thought they had no concept of space. It worked really well for her. I might do it one day if I am ever pregnant.

I'm excited to be apart of the Hubski community. I can't wait to get to know everyone here :-).

hmmm maybe? I feel like I'm getting there in terms of desperation. It might also be worth noting I have a feeding tube, so some harder heavy lifting jobs are just impossible for me. I would ideally love a receptionist type office job, despite my extensive experience with web marketing...

I'm glad you like it. She has another one that just makes me melt. Unfortunately, no one will ever get to hear it because it's tied up in contracts with producers and A&Rs who will not agree to release it :(.

If inquiring minds want to know - I can tell you how her and I became very, very, very, very, very good friends! ;-). Just let me know. I'll probably tell the story anyway when I have more time :-P.

As for the Lymphoma, the MRI didn't show anything of the sort. So yay no cancer. However my liver is enlarged and that might be the source of some of my discomfort. I need to follow up with a liver specialist but, I can't seem to get into the preferred one till Mid-December. So, I'm trying to find someone else who has comparable skills.

& As for my writing, Thank You so much, I really appreciate it. Unfortunately, I've only worked as a ghost writer so I do not have anything published that is worth sharing. I am however, working on a chronic pain blog. I haven't bought the domain name yet, I've just been slowly working on the content piece of it.

I always knew I'd get another dog. However, I wasn't going to do it right away and I didn't. Not until 5years later when I fell in love with the pile of fluff I have now.

To be honest, getting your degree is a really good idea. It's OKAY to not know what you want to study. I changed my major from Liberal Arts to Art History before finally settling on Geography of all things.

For me Geography was perfect - I took the Human/Cultural Route with it versus the technical mapping. It was an arts degree that brought together anthropology, sociology and a bit of psychology as well as a touch of history all into one place.

So I got to take a lot of cool classes that would do things like talk about Edward Snowden or China's Censorship or Nature and Human Kind and so forth. Stuff that I aas already reading about and engaged in online.

The funny bit?

I got into it by accident. After really disliking my Art History major, because it sucked the fun out of art for me; I didn't want to take extra course load just to graduate.

I found out that Geography fit my credits perfectly and decided instead of taking a particular winter term off, that I would go ahead and take the basic core requirements and then maybe swap my major or just stick out the Art History.

Turns out, I really enjoyed the basic core requirement courses and actually graduated with a degree I appreciated.

One piece of advice my dad gives me all the time that I have trouble to this day following, but still think is excellent advice is that:

When you're facing a problem that seems difficult or unmanageable and have an insistent need to fix it that very second, don't. Sit back, accept that you have a problem and sit with it. Let some time pass before you do anything or make any major decisions because in 3 days or less you will have more information and things change/look differently.

Also, you've had it rough! Dealing with so much from depression to partying to drugs to your teeth issues is not easy and that needs to be acknowledged. I had it really rough through school too. My brother died Fall of what was supposed to be my final year at school. From there I dealt with a myriad of mental health issues surrounding his death and then I fell really ill with an unusual disorder that causes me to be on a feeding tube to this day.

I ended up being at school 3 extra years making me a 7th year senior. To be honest, it wasn't so bad. I was able to make lasting friendships from the start of my college career to the end of it. That has put me in touch with a few cool people who are alumni now, as well as current students & even a few freshmen even though, I've been an alumni for about 2.5years now.

Everything I went through gave me a good perspective too. Suddenly grades weren't so important, and I took the pressure off myself. If I had to withdraw and get penalized - I just would. If I needed a lighter load one term, I'd do take a lighter load. If I needed a term off - I'd take it. I stopped stressing about grades and although I'm pissed that my GPA is just shy of a solid 3.0 it was very freeing to not over worry about my grades.

I ended up failing a class even! The one on Edward Snowden of all things! Even that in its irritatingly special way was a good lesson in priorities.

I don't tell you all of this to just talk about me, there is a point here. I work best by example - so maybe you can pull something from my personal story that relates or connects to you and helps you get through this time in your life! :-).

Edit/PS: These types of real life issues are my favorite kind of Hubski posts! They're engaging and spark some cool personal discussion in my opinion. Makes everyone so much more human/normal.

Or Google Docs, which is amazing too!

This is awesome. I got some Sinatra for my phone. Typically, I prefer using Amazon's prime music selection because there is just so much with my subscription, but getting that to work properly on my phone can be so freaking difficult!

EDIT: I'm also guilty of getting Britney Spears and Destiny's Child because I am THAT person.

Woooooooo!

Seriously, I think because they present themselves as a tech giant they might get a lot of private investing but, they are almost no better than a crazy taxi cab company gone wild!

I 100% agree that the model needs to be fixed and simply saying that it is a lot better than the taxi cab monopolization/industry is not enough. They need to behave like a real company and have real benefits and treat their drivers right vs. working them so hard with unrealistic expectations.

With that said, I do love the Uber service. I personally do not drive for some personal reasons and it has literally saved me from having to use the bus system which, in the cities I live and am in-between that is a huge lifesaver!

francopoli exactly, this. I don't disagree with you at all. It all needs to just die in a fire. I like that phrase. I should use it more. Perhaps on another site that shall not be named, because those users do not contribute useful content. / end total rant of everything wrong in the world.

Ya. I feel ya. I got virtually the same response when I submitted posts I had made about my own serious medical condition. I submitted what I thought was the real me but, could not agree with some of the points made... I think you are very right - differents states of mind and different writing pieces like from my blog vs. forum posting will lead to very different results!

This idea is a good one. Try to remember that whether or not dishonesty is intentional, it hurts just the same. And I think you mentioned another time recently you were a little dishonest, this makes it harder the second time to believe what you say in the heat of the moment. Usually, from my experience, the guy will come around when he calms down.

I emailed him a list of truths. At least 20 different important things about me and any secrets I may have carried throughout my life. Most of it he already knew but I went through everything in my life and tried to think of EVERYTHING important and share it with him and told him if there was something that comes up that I didn't mention its because I sincerely forgot about it. I think it was an action step in the right direction.

You're with you, in your head 24/7. If you don't tell people things the first time they come up for you, you have to find a perfect future moment to bring up the fact that somehow the thing you've been hiding fits into...which is kind of terrible, but is also kind of an art.

Ya, that was my problem with the drugs. He's willing to work on things and we have a plan to give each other space and detox me off. We leave for Cali so I can be under my parents care on Monday and he flies home Monday night leaving me there. The good news is I'm already down on the drugs. Only taking my prescribed dose yesterday and surviving. Today I plan to take none with the option of taking just one if the pain so warrants it. OR maybe even a half if I can. I'm going to have to go a few days without to make my script last but, I dug my own grave on that one. So, the process has been at least started before I even got to Cali which is good.

Anyway, again thank you for all your time on this and thoughts, you've been nothing but encouraging whereas I had to delete posts on Reddit because people were like, "lying dirty whore" and that served to help no one.

I have my flaws, and I'm sick of being strong, but being strong is something I'm good at so I'll work through these and this even though I have feelings of self-doubt, self-hate, and worthlessness.

I am loving all the awesomesauce music!

Lika Morgan - Sweet Dreams: