S/O called in the 'rents (who brought their anxious dogs) to stay over for the week. While they are mostly here in an emotional support capacity, they are also helping re-paint the house. To add to it, her best friend stayed a night as well, bringing her cat, so the house has been bursting at the seams as guests come and go this past week (cousins visiting, other friends come for dinner, etc.).

In an odd spot where I'm just being 'supportive' throughout it all, but goddamn dude. I need a break.

I am thankful for the choice of job made in January, at least. It's way more flexible than I thought it would be. Though, I've had a few clarifying moments that I want to switch into project management, and stay in renewable development career-wise. Deciding to build up enough savings again, then start looking again next January.

Would like to post my DeSantis blurb over the weekend once guests are gone. Small disclaimer, a fair bit of information I'm sourcing is word-of-mouth from friends & acquaintances who (A) work in or around lobbying/ists in FL, (B) are New College alum, (C) talk around town. Also, some of this is not as topical as the bills that are cooking in FL legislature now (which has a Republican supermajority)... this all to say, some information doesn't touch on all the most recent events, and my sources to articles may be a little lazy. I'd hope to have more bandwidth by the weekend to prove otherwise.

The hope with the post is to draw a through-line in related FL news to show how we got here, and what yaboi Ronnie Ds agenda looks like at large for FL as a preview of what to expect if elected.

(Breaks out chalk)

I will make tomorrow’s virtual meet up.

I will make tomorrow’s virtual meet up.

I will make tomorrow’s virtual meet up.

I will make tomorrow’s virtual meet up.

…

There goes any chance for real improvement for the government in my lifetime.

Hol' up. We aren't even at November yet. That sentiment would make more sense if we electric boogaloo Trump.

In the case we don't have four more years of 45 in the White House:

1) Biden's come out of hibernation with a blue machine at his back. Wait to see how cabinet positions play out.

2) No faith in Bernie steering the conversation over the span of a couple POTUS election cycles?

Grampy Berns hits a few of yer marks there.

Pubski Jan 8, 2020

Starting with bad then ramping up to the good. Cuz I'm a 'Look, there's water in the glass' type.

The Bad?

I don't think I really got over the face-plant date from October. More specific, I thought I would just 'get back on the horse,' instead of choosing to flip the page to the 'rejection' chapter and write another 4 month sentence to having unexpected lows. That said, I had been on a couple good 'hang outs' (not dates, not yet) since with a friend before the new year. Had another planned with said friend which fell through that made it easy for me to spiral into bad brain days with the fam back home on break. A lot of friends that I grew close with while still near home last year were out of town, so that made the time an extra bummer.

The Good.

I WENT ON MULTIPLE DATES IN 2019!!!

One of my goals for the next couple years (a la 5-yr plan made in IL, ty ref 4 inspiration) was to go on at least 3 first dates per year - assumptions: prob not gonna stick a ring on the first person I meet, but I also foresee some of those firsts getting a second.

I also wanted to at least start a masters program by 25 y/o - I'll complete one 3 weeks before then.

Among other things, clearly I'm fucking killing it.

Onto this week, semester started and people are back in town. Went rock climbing together with friend mentioned above. It’s been a while, and I didn’t test out for belaying by that gym’s standards, so we ended up bouldering for a couple hours. My wrists feel horrible in a good way. This is the type of workout that’ll benefit my poor wrist posture with computer mice. Considering splitting Kung Fu membership budget with rock-climbing.

I had a most of my classes last semester with the friend, so there was inherent contact time. Bonus since I was helping with her coding on weekends from time to time. We have much less inherent contact time (i.e. classes) now, so her gesture to lend me her climbing harness to practice the gym’s way of belaying was a kind assurance of ‘Hey, let’s do this again.’

Reminded me of:

Note that it's important to consider you and to consider her. I had a girl bring me a stuffed gargoyle from the Disney store because she'd been to my place once and had noticed that everyone else used to buy me gargoyles (it's true). This demonstrated (A) she had paid attention but not enough to notice I hate Disney (B) she was thinking of me (C) she spends a lot of time at malls. From her perspective it was a nice, thoughtful gift and I took it as such. That relationship lasted four years. Later, I started dating a girl that had never gone hiking and was coming out of a difficult marriage that drained all her resources. I bought her a $200 pair of hiking boots. This demonstrated (A) that I wanted her to share my passions without any impediment (B) that I was very much not her soon-to-be-ex-husband (C) that I was willing to spend extravagantly on her. It was a risk - that's much too big a present for early on, particularly if $200 is dear to you - but it was a successful gambit. We're going on 15 years.

- ‘bl00

I found it kinda endearing, and took her up on it (SUE ME, I’M A LIL SAPPY).

Running out to a hardware store to get rope to practice on after posting this.

What Can Be Learned

So, what can be learned re: dating. (lmao, 50%+ of my comments here lately)

1. People have lives, so do you (I).

I noticed after my 40hr/wk precursor job to the masters program, being an adult also means recognizing giving space is a key attributes not only in life. It helps a lot with dating, too. Nervousness around what/how/when to text is a lot simpler given people have lives to live. Dating and romance is a component, not a whole of life, so it’s OK to leave it as such. It’s OK to just text when you want to get together rather than to check in every now and again (at later stages, I’m pretty sure that’s when phone calls are more appropriate for us millennials).

2. Spices

You know, the ol’ find out what you do and don’t like in a person. At slight risk of sounding risqué, what sort of flavor in life do you get when you add another soul to activities you like? I’ve found with different peeps, I get different impressions (feels?).

Some are mysterious, subdued, but bold [kantos meltdown, fall ‘17]

Some are tangy and familiar (soon to find in a bad way) [kantos meltdown, spring ‘18]

Some are comforting, empowering, and a little flaky [kantos meltdown, fall ‘18]

Some are smooth and sweet, nearly artificial [kantos meltdown, fall ‘19]

And recently, a feeling of comfort, yet security/stability is the latest and novel experience of late. I’m slated to be in town until August at the minimum, and this isn’t a town people tend to stay much in. I’m not a fan of the ‘play it by ear’ method, but that’s how the game goes in this scene. The best I can hope for is if this moves into something more, the maturity and clarity to have those conversations is present. I have a feeling this one’s a little different, even if it doesn’t work out. But I’m optimistic about what I’ll learn at the end of the story.

First off, adding this to the saved pile in hopes of more to come. Thanks for writing this and adding your input to the topic. It really does seem like we've had some more relationship chats around here. Kinda heartwarming... if you're a romantic... or like beans.

Consolidate/Crowdsource

Aight, I have a stash of mixed posts/comments from goob, lil, and KB. Check it:

This entire thread was good. ^ Also hyper-relevant to your first point. Recommend the whole comment section, it touches on the second point. Probably more to be editted in here. Point 1 and 2 from the main post here got all the cogs spinning.

This comment sticks in my brain, especially recently, as a reminder that taking it slow in any form of relationship (friendship to romantic) is sometimes exactly what both parties need or flat out want. It's also a great segue into the next comment below, yet I think those two from KB go well as a pair, too.

Read 'em and weep, hubs. Been refraining from posting since I've come into another similar place. Being superstitious and not trying to jinx it. But, it's been the most positive budding whatever-the-fuck I've had to date. Happy to say I'm seeing progress from the shitty ghosting situation last year this time, to the shitty love triangle-esque situation half a year ago, up to cautiously optimistic situation I'm in now. I can state this based on emotionally mature conversations for where we are at (boundaries and expectations for a friendship).

You're being a dick.

I believe the phrase is, "A dick is worth a thousand words."

One kind of life-alienating communication is the use of moralistic judgments that imply wrongness or badness on the part of people who don’t act in harmony with our values. Such judgments are reflected in language: “The problem with you is that you’re too selfish.” “She’s lazy.” “They’re prejudiced.” “It’s inappropriate.” Blame, insults, put-downs, labels, criticism, comparisons, and diagnoses are all forms of judgment.

Analyses of others are actually expressions of our own needs and values.

It is important here not to confuse value judgments and moralistic judgments. All of us make value judgments as to the qualities we value in life; for example, we might value honesty, freedom, or peace. Value judgments reflect our beliefs of how life can best be served.

- Marshall Rosenberg

Other than that, welcome back?

I promise, the need for belonging won't be fulfill by opening with a judgement. Analyses as evidence are just as vindictive as the statement.

But, if you must indulge, feel free to ignore this comment entirely.

How did you do compared to your goals last year, as well?

Hit 4 of my 7 marks for 2017.

Planning to run it back and hit 7 of 7. Looking back, I hit a lot of personal goals without even realizing it. In that respect, 2017 wasn't too bad of a year. This year is graduation, so if I don't hit 5 of 7 at minimum, then something's wrong.

New Hubski style: edgy.

swoons

Shame.

Whereas guilt says, "I'm sorry, I made a mistake," shame says, "I'm sorry, I am a mistake."