Went WAY better than I could have expected. The extra luck must have helped. :)
There are many things wrong around the global - and the U.S. is no different… but I’m not sure the U.S. is the haven my great-grandparents saw it as generations ago.
Overall Health The past couple weeks have been draining. If I'm honest... I haven't had a truly restful weekend in recent memory - easily months. At least, not restful by how kantos two years ago would have defined it. Perhaps its rooted in COVID - and not just the era, but the lasting side effects of July's contraction. I cannot exercise without exhibiting what I'd expect are asthmatic symptoms which keep me seated or laying down for 72 hours. Even leisurely strolls in Southern heat left me horizontal in less than an hour. I've gained 40 pounds since quarantine began, and frustrated at getting knee-cap'd during what used to be a quick recovery period of minutes. Next step pending as a doctor appointment is scheduled for Friday. Work First work anniversary at the current job has passed. I've learned so much just getting the job. At the time, only partial benefits were offered. So, I argued for higher pay to compensate for lack of benefits... to HR... bad idea. Well, then I plead the case to the hiring manager (my now boss)... which gained me a higher starting salary than their advertised ceiling. Since then, I've gotten a full suite of bennies and two raises, plus a title change. All under a year. Fuck yeah. This place (especially my boss) has given me free range to hone what I've learned from grad school and then some. Tomorrow I'm rolling out a fully scripted set of Python tools by yours truly to help my tinnie-tiny department on the latest software upgrade coordinated my (for the people in the back), again, yours truly. On the spectrum of "holy shit" to "nice code bro," overall, it's more the latter in terms of bragging rights when looking at the scripts themselves. But, it feels like a 'holy fuck' to the dept, so I'm rolling with it. The company is small, and landing this job makes me wonder if I'm getting compensated enough still. Despite this, on-the-job training I've been annoying enough to 'manifest [my boss' rage]' is finally on the horizon, and it is exactly on course for what I've aspired to 'round about a decade now. Books I gotta get back in the habit of reading. Just reviewing my comments when I first joined Hubski make me feel as though I've gotten dumber. Hot damn. Found a 'fun read' to kindle the flame again. Next in line are Dune sequels and Foundation to further stoke the flame. Future Speaking of flame, I'm beginning talks with family about re-locating within the next decade or so to get ahead climate change induced migration. Finding better land, community, and environmentally sound regions are in-mind as I'm planning a non-related trip with a childhood buddy. The only conceivable reason to stay where we are is the safety in-case Yellowstone blows... which would also cause an Earth cooling event, I'd guess would run counter to global warming? Yeah... none of this is palatable. Sorry to leave this on a sour note pubs. FWIW, my work is actively involved in countering climate change (a point of pride), but man the uphill battle ahead does look tiring.
Books Finishing up Dune by Frank Herbert. A Promised Land by former POTUS Obama is next. Hit the jackpot at Goodwill, so Decision Points by G.W. Bush is in the queue alongside Bill Gates’ The Road Ahead and I Am America (So Can You!) by Stephen Colbert. All for under $15.😎 Poemz (to be read between books) Snagged 5 or so 70-ish page poem collections by Woodsworth, Dickenson, Whitman, and a couple other well-known artists. Comic Bookz (read between book chapters) From the same store, I’ve completed my collection of Alan Moore’s run of Swamp Thing. That and J.M. DeMatteis & Jon J Muth’s Moonshadow are my in-between books readings. Picked up Moonshadow’s first issue in the 99 cent section... got hooked and ordered the hardback definitive edition. Soooo, it goes without saying, still zooming through comics. Just finished Neil Gaiman and Dave McKean’s origin story of Black Orchid, Lemire/Smallwood/Bellaire’s 5-issue “Death and Birth” arc of Moon Knight, aaaannnd following the current run of Shang-Chi by Gene Luen Yang & co. in anticipation of Marvel’s release of said Supe on the silver screen. It will star a friend of the Wong Fu YT channel (Simu Liu) I’ve followed for 5+ years which is excitiiiiing. Also, Simu’s in Kim’s Convenience on Netflix if anyone’s into a light hearted comedy.
This will be general and vague, which isn’t conducive to receiving advice... but an outlet of any sort is appreciated - so thanks, pubs. Tested for Covid 3 times before deciding to stay with family from Thanksgiving to next weekend. It’s been needed, though not a panacea for the undercurrent of stress from work and life driving me to be more insecure than pre-covid. It’s not a good look. Exercise helps as always, but the fact that I’m all hot and bothered for any stretch of time without it is enough of a signal I should make a change. What’s frustrating is an un-answered question of “Would this be alleviated if life was back to normal?” - even more frustrating is the small voice saying it wouldn’t. LittleBits I’ve been up to: - Picked up Dune for my night-time wind down. Fiction is a welcome segue back into reading... will hop back on the horse of non-fiction after (index funds, compound interest and my future, oh my ) - Investing a tad in BTC and a little less so in ETH as a precursor to understanding what I can expect from a stock exchange.
Got a cheap, but quality cast iron pan and moka pot. I should have done this sooner. Finally understand why both my brothers passed on a full set of pots/pans hand-me-downs. Also figuring out I need a gameplan when cooking raw fish. My salmon game is trash.
Jobs Applying to stretch and dream jobs to fulfill my internship requirements. These are the only jobs that I'm willing to go out-of-state for currently. They are BIG stretches. So big I'm not upset if I don't stick the landing, but goddamn if I do... One thing I've found is the other internships around me are so environmentally oriented. When it really comes down to the question of 'what is your interest,' I'm tired of BS'ing to further myself towards a desk I don't want. Relationshit I've asked the same girl out to go places 4 times in January, and flat out asked her on a date post-Valentines day. Every single time life keeps getting in the way. I keep hearing 'yes', or a possible reschedule, then life falls through: a car issue, overslept on a nap, family is in town (again), and a family emergency to boot. Roughly in that order. I'm amazed I've been so damn persistent despite all this, going off of 'yes' for a month only for circumstances to flop. I swear getting ghosted is easier so I can just moved on without thinking about "what-ifs". My rule of 'no response is a response' has been called into question by friends and family throughout this, and I'm trusting this woman to be up front with me when her priorities are not me - rightfully fucking so, might I add. So, when I'm not sure why she hasn't re-scheduled or reached back out, I keep oscillating between "let it the fuck go" and "be patient". A nice facebook scroll-through popped 'when the right relationship comes around, it won't be toxic like this'. This isn't toxic. This just sucks. I'm not in control of anything at all, and this sucks because I had a solid foundation to base a relationship from here. I didn't idealize her, but I damn sure knew she looked like the type of woman I'd like to be with. Pains me to think 'just keep in mind those qualities and look elsewhere' and 'maybe the timing really just isn't right'. In order to move forward, I'd really have to believe being persistent ISN'T the right move. Thanks for listening to me rant in your head. What can be learned? 1. Python. I got my fireball data project approved to work on for two courses at once. I want to leverage the final product in job interviews mentioned above. 2. When to hear 'no thank you,' (a la 'read between the lines') and when to hear 'I'm sorry life has been so busy'. I don't know if I'm there yet, but I hope to get this one under my belt through this relationshit ordeal. 3. Leaning on friends is nothing to be ashamed of. All of last semester I went out of my way to help the others in my classes. Not to network, but because I wanted to do grad school different than undergrad. After the second or third flop, I was invited out of the blue for dancing with my cohort. Was able to balance 'a good time' with venting, and was lent an air-mattress for a night over with a friend in the end. Been having movie nights after weekend labs on and off since. [Edit] 4. Diversify your love and attention. Spread that goodness and those who appreciate it will reflect it back. That will sustain you for giving to others who don’t have the bandwidth for you. Its a gift that keeps on giving. Grad school is shaping up.
Amy vs Trump on the debate stage gives me a sense of deja vu. But I think she’d hold it down better than Pete. Of the three you mentioned, considering they are female, gay or jewish still seems novel for presidential candidates making it this far. The best part of each being those qualities aren’t centerpieces of their campaign.
Calling all well traveled and European Hubskiers! My brothers and I are planning an EU trip in May/June and wondering where to have a layover: Madrid, Barcelona or Rome? We haven’t been to any of them, so it’s a rough call. My main question is between Barcelona and Madrid, where would you choose to experience Spain?
Work My workplace didn't secure the big contract they expected (which would them to hire me full-time). They also are losing money on the contract they signed me on for. Thus, I was told I have 3 weeks left yesterday.... Which is one week more than my fellow temps. Because I told them last month I was going back to school at the end of July, they honored the date I set. Getting that extra money in my pocket will be very nice considering the alternative. Even though this changes nothing about my plans since coming back from Israel, it feels bittersweet anyways. I'm still leaving on my terms, but the connotation has changed a little. Mid-way through today I got a text from a place I interviewed near the school I'm going to for follow up (3 months later!). I gotta say, I really like not having homework/studying in the meantime. Relationships Life Things are still cruising along nicely. Getting the car in my name finally. Adulting, etc., etc. Brushing up on my Spanish and getting into writing poetry after all this time. Trying to knock 'em both out by doing the poetry in Spanish. Only a couple verses a day. Starting solely in Spanish and thinking as such, rather than formulate the verse in English then translate.
Bad brain day (borrowing some OB terms) after an intense weekend. Bright side is I'm meeting up with some good guys to lay it to rest tonight.
Jack and coke. This has been a week, and it's not over. My grandmother passed this past weekend. She was the last surviving grandparent of mine that I was old enough to get to know other than a face and distant memories. It wasn't unexpected given her age, though it sure as hell wasn't expected all the same. For someone nearing in their 90s, she had exceptional presence of mind and a force of will that outlived what her body could offer. I'm upset. I had a selfish notion in my head that she would at least be there for my graduation at the end of the year. As if she would be there to see me walk for both her and her late husband, who were the biggest part in my ability to go to college in the first place. Above all this, I'm going to miss talking with her about growing up and laughing with her on how things have changed. I'd be lying if I wrote I wasn't expecting at least one more heart-to-heart with her either. When she connected with her grandchildren in-person (she never really was much for phone calls), despite being cognizant, she would opt not to use words. She had this ability from time to time, to meet our eyes and let us know she understand the sentiment of wherever we were in conversation. It was also her way of showing us how much she cared and loved us. I miss her. Now, my exam and moving living spaces are happening within 24 hours of me typing this. So, again, it's been a week and it ain't over. Needed a place to get some out before going balls deep and bawling in someone's arms after the move. So thanks for readin'. This all aside, I have plans to go on Birthright after graduation and extend my stay indefinitely. I got family in Israel from both sides, so I'll have some reprieve if my activity has me dragging. I can also bring over some of my grandmother's stuffs they may want to keep within the family.
'Sup pubski. I'll take water. Relationships I said (half) my piece to the lady friend. Took her better part of the week to get back to me, requesting a meet up or phone call. Was supposed to meet up today, but she wanted to reschedule. I opted for in-person again. Curious what she has to say, since I didn't expect to hear back from her in the first place. Edit: Been making plans with other peeps to get back into the groove of reaching out to people... Rather than resorting to meeting up with her as I was for the past few months. Considering some peer groups as other outlets. School Smooth sailing this summer. Expecting Fall -> graduation to be the same. Looking for living spaces for that last couple months of school. Slacking on the ever looming job search (for something full-time) lately wanting to find the latitude to make my trip across the pond indefinite. Edit 2: Traded my ol' tablet to my roommate for his ol' kindle. Really fucking like this mode of reading. Ate up a couple books over the past month or so. Feels nice. Will be able to contribute to the book reading thread now.
No resolution here, much like how I'll feel after 3 days of exams starting tomorrow. Thanks to insomniasexx for all these magnets and STICKERS! Always wondered where everyone got them from. Now I have my own collection to start slapping everywhere. :D P.S. What be Hub?
Eyeing the time left, I listen for sleep to come. Pointless ritual.