I have to preface this with- I usually clean up and reorganize behaviors and patterns around this time of the year. Also. The implications that my situation is stable right now is in fact minutely understood by many parties in my life, including myself. No matter how many nice things or properties that are accumulated- If the attention isn't there, then it can wither and disappear. I don't have much to say at the current moment as this is the most free time I will and have had for others in quite a bit since the holidays have started. I just got back from the beach. While I was out of my home town, I reached out to some old friends. I felt the need to make amends. I considered it a project for a bit, actually. In my head, I built up all these different requirements and price points until I could make up for the fact of ditching my old life and chasing the addiction of "more." I picked that up from a person from a hall. I don't talk about the programs I am in, in here, and I wish I could, but I always get worried about what is considered okay and not okay around this space and others. But I have learned more about myself from it. I am making it a point to get an actual therapist again. But, most importantly, when I reached out to my old friends- I found out that they are actually in my home town and around where I reside. Not only that, but I told them I am an alcoholic and that I am sorry for... well... 4 years is quite a long time. I almost put off talking to y'all here too- but I felt otherwise when I saw an AA posting on here. I think that this alcove of people makes me feel safe. I've picked up reading a book. It's Jordan Peterson's 12 Rules For Life. Do you know what a bodhe tree is? I really should take a picture of my tree. My Sacred Fig named Assantha. The poor thing has been part of my attempt at gardening. It started with leaves and about 3-5 fruit. Unfortunately, it has been subjected to the winds and frigid temperatures much further north than it was picked up from. In fact, it is in a pot and ready to be moved if I move. And I believe that my fiance and I will be this year. Also, on a tangent, I discovered a man who wore a wooden bodhe necklace and it was a couple generations from the original tree that supposedly Buddha was Enlightened under. Lastly, I am also starting to pick back up on writing. It's been cumbersome, but I have been really accumulating a body of work on my devices. I'm also marking up anything I feel like I I too- Books, stray papers, journals, moleskines, composition books, whiteboards... Which is good. That means I can really dig down deep and get something fun from it. I'm for structured project posts this year! But I do have to go for now. Feel free to reach out- I'm very excited to share pictures of my projects, but it is what it is and I do need to get to sleep. Cheers!
I hitchhiked there before. I was a kid back then, before the kicks. Good luck! Maybe next time! Currently in SoCal.
Distribution sounds nice. Cleave is a fun one to say. Sparsile is a personal favorite.
I am looking for work! I just finished a script and I am looking for work as something more stable. Still moving! But the house is finished and it looks gorgeous!
I have been reading: -Visual C 5 in 21 Days 4th Edition by Nathan Gurowich & Ori Greenwich I told myself that I would learn C! I have been mainly perusing articles on FL Studio while I take time to read this, but I am still getting in a page or 2 a day! -Leaves of Grass by Walt Whitman A reread. I got an extensive edition that includes the original publishing and the additions added to it. I used to read it hitchhiking and it is bringing up some good feelings. -Still Life with Woodpecker by Tom Robbins Another reread. My beloved has never read a book by the man, but I read some outloud to him and he enjoyed it. Now we take a few hours every week to read it out loud to each other. It is fun. -A Prayer for Owen Meany I honestly dislike this book so much that I have put it down and have been putting off finishing it. I might take it with me travelling to force myself to read this book, but dear lord, can I not get annoying Owen Meany's voice out of my head. My beloved is reading: -Tropic of Capricorn by Henry Miller An excellent sequel. -Catch 22 by Joseph Heller He finished this reread recently. We discussed how we felt about the book to each other. Upcoming: I'm hoping to read some scifi as well as read more technical books. There is also some juicy cheap erotica calling my name, but I am trying to get focused on my technical education. My boyfriend wants to read a nonfiction book on racism that I added to the library.
LANA DEL REY'S NEW ALBUM IS COMING OUT TOMORROW I'll share then.
Valentine's day is tomorrow and my date is making it a surprise. Also, it is a beautiful, rainy day in California and I have a performance at a hotel in a couple weeks.
I've been reading a lot more in between writing. I've been slowly learning to enjoy the world disconnected. I need to look for work soon, but thankfully I am in a position where I can take my time. I want to take the next exam, but I need to work before I do that. The IT world is more experience based than anything.
Kendrick Lamar- King's Dead Sam Sparro- Black and Gold ... and classical music.
I'll just take a soda water with some lime. I've been signing NDAs, so I can't tell y'all, but I'll tell y'all. I'm doing Hollywood. I'm trying to grow as a person. I get a car later this week. I've gotten a laptop. Also, I am listening to a lot of music.
-recording next week -going to red carpet events -feeling happier than I have ever been-sober. -meeting people in the industry -left a concert early and made several people laugh because of a comment I made about their performance -still finding time to study for my certs this winter. I think my life is going better than last week, people.
-lost my position today Go figure. The school I worked for didn't want to have bookers anymore. At least I have my check. They also want me to attend so I can book an agent for modelling and such. What a headache. -possibly going into the studio next week. Might be doing music for the industry. Super excited about that. -opening up a new bank account tomorrow -visited the place I stayed at over the summer -applying for work -time to really study computer stuff -time to finish the first draft of my novel -love interest doesn't want to speak to me anymore Blaring comfort music. Sleeping in and praying for stability. Calling people and most are busy. If you want to send a message to me, now is the time. -going to an aa meeting tonight City of Angels, baby. Gotta love it. When is the next meetup for Hubski? I would be interested, but it depends on the timing. -staying busy to keep busy Here I am sitting in a bar and drinking soda water with lime like a casual. Bars have great karaoke- what can I say? ... all in all, not a bad week. Just filled with life.
I was here before under the pseudonym of scatterbii (I believe). Life caught up with me, I started catching up with life, and I remembered the stickers that were sent to me a while back. Got back on the site and there was a post about aa after I just got into that program. Feels like fate stepped in. This feels like a quieter hub for discussion on the net and I feel like I can stop in to see what is happening every week and not feel pressured about it.