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Ty-Guy  ·  1274 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: “Just be yourself” is cruel, fraudulent advice to give young people - Salon.com

I'm sorry I brought up such a sore subject! :)

I'm glad your daughter is showing that kind of promise from such a young age. I hadn't considered winning with dignity! That lesson will be a hard one to teach, I think. My main thesis of parenthood is probably just going to be "have empathy for everyone." Hopefully my kids will have some friends that show them how to win and lose well, too.

thenewgreen  ·  1274 days ago  ·  link  ·  

    My main thesis of parenthood is probably just going to be "have empathy for everyone."
That's a solid foundation Ty-Guy!
Ty-Guy  ·  1274 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Is the Internet a failed utopia?

Too many people are on the Internet for it to ever be utopia.

I'm sure in the very beginning, when the Internet was only used by intellectuals with a passion for computers, it was a pretty cool place. Now, it's just a reflection of society. I don't think people are stimulated for the better by the Internet very often; they're stimulated exactly how they want to be. They still have the power to block things, ignore things, and share whatever pops into their heads.

I completely recognize that I'm being cynical, but at least in America, we mostly use the Internet to: look at pictures of potential partners or friends on social media sites, Google answers to any quick questions we have, and to laugh at funny pictures of animals. That's not much of a utopia.

Ty-Guy  ·  1274 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: “Just be yourself” is cruel, fraudulent advice to give young people - Salon.com

This phrase really creates a confusing climate for these kids. Their parents and teachers are telling them "just be yourself," while their peers are telling them what they should and shouldn't do. It's really a constant struggle of them trying to be themselves while their peers reject whatever version they think is the right one.

This article hit the nail on the head for me. randomuser is right in saying that parents need to be more honest with their children. Constantly lying to children is seen as the humane thing to do here in America, but is really detrimental to them in the end. This reminds me of the debate over whether you should let your children win when playing games with them. Many successful athletes discuss in interviews how their parents never let them win while playing sports; they had to earn it. Whether that's something any of you could see yourself doing or not, it's important to consider! I'm not sure how many illusions I want my kids to have about the world, or when I would want those illusions to end. It's tricky.

thenewgreen  ·  1274 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I have a four year old daughter. We have a number of "matching games" and at first I would let her win a few games and lose a couple too, in order to teach her how to handle both experiences. Now, she openly kicks my ass without me pulling any punches. I wish she would let me win from time to time. But, I get the sentiment from the athletes, it makes sense. I think being competitive is a great thing in life. Learning how to lose AND win with dignity is important stuff.

Ty-Guy  ·  1274 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I'm sorry I brought up such a sore subject! :)

I'm glad your daughter is showing that kind of promise from such a young age. I hadn't considered winning with dignity! That lesson will be a hard one to teach, I think. My main thesis of parenthood is probably just going to be "have empathy for everyone." Hopefully my kids will have some friends that show them how to win and lose well, too.

thenewgreen  ·  1274 days ago  ·  link  ·  

    My main thesis of parenthood is probably just going to be "have empathy for everyone."
That's a solid foundation Ty-Guy!
Ty-Guy  ·  1274 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: "How Old Is Fifteen, Really?"

I would mostly say society. Not many people are quick to discuss subjects that make them uncomfortable. I'd say this a pretty normal reaction from parents, because they have a strong protective instinct for their children, and often look at other children through that perspective.

It's hard for parents to ever really accept that their kids have grown up. Another important issue he brings up is race in the media. This problem is horrible in the U.S. News stations are far more likely to portray a white kid around that age as being innocent and a black kid as being a "thug." Now, in the video, he talks about two completely different scenarios, and it would almost seem logical to see why people think that way. But a black kid and white kid could be doing the exact same thing and the media would portray them differently.

As far as the maturity thing for women, I'd say at least while they're younger, that's definitely true. At 15 years old, most adults look at those girls as being completely influenced by their peers and incapable of thinking for themselves. This is a huge problem in parenting, and causes a lot of tension in their late teens.

Thanks for the follow! You're my first one :)

Ty-Guy  ·  1274 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: "How Old Is Fifteen, Really?"

Shit. Well at least one other person understood after my comment haha

Ty-Guy  ·  1274 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: "How Old Is Fifteen, Really?"

Nah, I just meant it's interesting that a 15 year old can spend his life in jail, but the majority are still treated by society as innocent and immature. It's one of those subjects society doesn't discuss because they think the answer is obvious depending on the situation. I think Chappelle did a great job of proving that here.

caelum19  ·  1274 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I wasn't really sure what he was getting at(probably because I'd never even heard of the incident) until you explained it just then, you earned a follower :)

I think Society allows women to be less mature(And at the same time, assume they're incapable of being as mature), which had a small effect. Would you say Society or Government is at fault here? or both?

Ty-Guy  ·  1274 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I would mostly say society. Not many people are quick to discuss subjects that make them uncomfortable. I'd say this a pretty normal reaction from parents, because they have a strong protective instinct for their children, and often look at other children through that perspective.

It's hard for parents to ever really accept that their kids have grown up. Another important issue he brings up is race in the media. This problem is horrible in the U.S. News stations are far more likely to portray a white kid around that age as being innocent and a black kid as being a "thug." Now, in the video, he talks about two completely different scenarios, and it would almost seem logical to see why people think that way. But a black kid and white kid could be doing the exact same thing and the media would portray them differently.

As far as the maturity thing for women, I'd say at least while they're younger, that's definitely true. At 15 years old, most adults look at those girls as being completely influenced by their peers and incapable of thinking for themselves. This is a huge problem in parenting, and causes a lot of tension in their late teens.

Thanks for the follow! You're my first one :)

user-inactivated  ·  1274 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Yeah, I was just joking.

Ty-Guy  ·  1274 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Shit. Well at least one other person understood after my comment haha

Ty-Guy  ·  1274 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: "How Old Is Fifteen, Really?"

Yeah, it sucks that the only time they can be treated as mature is when going to prison for a crime! But I agree, I guess for protection most laws for fifteen year olds are necessary.

Ty-Guy  ·  1274 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: "How Old Is Fifteen, Really?"

Haha, I would say for the most part, you're right. I was mostly trying to see what you guys thought about the innocence vs. life in prison point he was making.

user-inactivated  ·  1274 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I think right there is the answer to your question. Confronted with the issue of being pissed on or being faced with life in prison, a 15 year old mind seeks to evaluate being pissed on first. Maybe let's not jail that kid for life.

Ty-Guy  ·  1274 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Nah, I just meant it's interesting that a 15 year old can spend his life in jail, but the majority are still treated by society as innocent and immature. It's one of those subjects society doesn't discuss because they think the answer is obvious depending on the situation. I think Chappelle did a great job of proving that here.

caelum19  ·  1274 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I wasn't really sure what he was getting at(probably because I'd never even heard of the incident) until you explained it just then, you earned a follower :)

I think Society allows women to be less mature(And at the same time, assume they're incapable of being as mature), which had a small effect. Would you say Society or Government is at fault here? or both?

Ty-Guy  ·  1274 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I would mostly say society. Not many people are quick to discuss subjects that make them uncomfortable. I'd say this a pretty normal reaction from parents, because they have a strong protective instinct for their children, and often look at other children through that perspective.

It's hard for parents to ever really accept that their kids have grown up. Another important issue he brings up is race in the media. This problem is horrible in the U.S. News stations are far more likely to portray a white kid around that age as being innocent and a black kid as being a "thug." Now, in the video, he talks about two completely different scenarios, and it would almost seem logical to see why people think that way. But a black kid and white kid could be doing the exact same thing and the media would portray them differently.

As far as the maturity thing for women, I'd say at least while they're younger, that's definitely true. At 15 years old, most adults look at those girls as being completely influenced by their peers and incapable of thinking for themselves. This is a huge problem in parenting, and causes a lot of tension in their late teens.

Thanks for the follow! You're my first one :)

user-inactivated  ·  1274 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Yeah, I was just joking.

Ty-Guy  ·  1274 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Shit. Well at least one other person understood after my comment haha

Ty-Guy  ·  1274 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: What is wrong with our culture?

I don't think many people are raised to be "happy."

Parents try to teach children what they should do to be happy, but there are too many qualifications society expects you to meet before you are allowed to pursue happiness. Also, parents ultimately bombard kids with what THEY believe, and I think either consciously or subconsciously, this plays an enormous factor in keeping the cycle going. Also, at some point early in our development, we're raised to believe we have a "place" in society. Our peers heavily dictate this place, and punish us when we try to leave it.

In some parts of the world, you must complete years and years of education that has a tendency to stamp out creativity or fresh ideas by filling young minds with "the way it's always been" and "just the way it goes."

In every part of the world, you're expected to find a job and provide a service for the society you live in. I think this causes a lot of dissonance, because the majority of people don't truly know what they want to do before they're thrust into one, or their parents never really taught them the importance of working hard to improve their environment. The latter causes them to not want a job at all, but rather to "hang out" or "have fun" all the time.

What people almost everywhere lack is fulfillment. They have a hard time seeing how their life has any effect on anything, and most people are cynical about their jobs to some degree. Almost everyone wants material success as quickly and effortlessly as possible. No one really stops to think if that would make them happy, because it's ingrained in our minds that that's the way to go.

At least in the U.S., most people are taught that we're special and amazing and perfect just the way we are while simultaneously being told by our peers and the media that we're not good enough. And this breaks my heart. Complacency is corrupting our country more and more every day. Our society breeds individualism, and it's repulsive. No one CARES about others. People choose to ignore the bad facts in life. They choose to retreat through a medium to forget their problems. They choose to not think about the atrocities in other parts of the world or even in our own country, and say to themselves, "Thank God that's not me!" Having a medium to forget these problems gives people a complex I'll just never be able to understand. Thinking about our society is excruciating to me.

In short, no one thinks they have the power to truly change things and gives up before really even trying.

Ty-Guy  ·  1274 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: What is your job, hubski?

How do so many cats and dogs end up in shelters? I've always wondered.

Ty-Guy  ·  1276 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Welcome to Hubski, redditors! Tell us about yourselves.

You've got yourself a deal! Sounds like quite an interesting family. What kind of dogs do you have?

MadEmperorYuri  ·  1276 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Mostly hounds of some variety: Beagles, Walker Coonhounds, Elkhounds, more Beagles..

Ty-Guy  ·  1276 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Hubski, what do you believe?

I believe that empathy and ignorance are a more meaningful dichotomy than good and evil.

Ty-Guy  ·  1276 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Welcome to Hubski, redditors! Tell us about yourselves.

Late to the party, but hello, everybody! I'm a 20 year old aerospace engineering student at the Naval Academy here in the States. This site attracted me because you all seem to be a tight knit group interested in thoughtful discussion, which is exactly what I'm looking for.

You all seem to have a gift for writing, which is something I envy and have been working on. I could use your help in that area, and, embarrassingly, I feel like I don't know enough about politics. Hopefully by reading your discussions and eventually participating in them, I'll be much more aware and have a deeper understanding of my environment!

Music and dogs are enormous passions of mine, and I'm excited about sharing songs with everybody and listening to new music. Also, I'm getting a puppy next year, so any training tips from dog owners would be much appreciated!

Finally, I'm very into fitness, but I don't hate fat people. I understand a lot about health, so if you have any questions or are looking to get in better shape or something, I could definitely help you out.

MadEmperorYuri  ·  1276 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Hey, I might trade fitness information for dog training information with you sometime! My immediate family consists of a veterinarian and a dog trainer and a lot of dogs and cats.

Ty-Guy  ·  1276 days ago  ·  link  ·  

You've got yourself a deal! Sounds like quite an interesting family. What kind of dogs do you have?

MadEmperorYuri  ·  1276 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Mostly hounds of some variety: Beagles, Walker Coonhounds, Elkhounds, more Beagles..

Ty-Guy  ·  1276 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: America's struggle

I second this. Both extremes (always about race, never about race) are incorrect and harmful to the well being of all people in our country. What upsets me about these police brutality incidents are 1) that they ever happen at all and 2) so many people jump on the cases as a reason to generalize police offers as either never, or always, being racist in their decisions.

Ty-Guy  ·  1276 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: America's struggle

I see your point. I wasn't trying to dismiss it, racial problems in our country are very real. I was, however, dismissing the method the guy above me talked about. I really feel like it distances black Americans from the very people whose opinions they're trying to sway. I'm not saying the author is without merit.