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user-inactivated  ·  63 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: January 24, 2024

Slowly trying to learn Python. It's fun when I get to implement things in little beginner projects, but the content is pretty dry.

Tomatoes are going red, very exciting. Two plants are still going hard, the other two are consistently producing messy/split tomatoes, so I'm considering just cutting my losses and focusing on the two that are succeeding and chalking this up as a lesson in trying too many different kinds at once. Tuh'may'ters.

Next up on my piano-relearning-adventure, Sea Power's ZA/UM. My most played song from 2023.

Hope you're all doing well.

user-inactivated  ·  113 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: December 6, 2023

TOMATOES ARE GROWING.

Little green fellas just hanging out.

Am proud.

Joining my 3rd DnD campaign this Sunday. A friend had been running a small group through over the course of the year. It was strictly in person, and they're all in Australia. But with the DM moving cities, they opted to go online. Once online, the DM invited me to join. I get to dust off an old character, very excited.

user-inactivated  ·  208 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: A tale from my grandfather

That's wonderful you have something from her. I know exactly what you mean about the smell. When I lift the piano lid it still has that same smell of grandma and grandads house. I don't know how long that will remain but so far so good. If you find the time to keep playing it, I hope it brings you some joy!

I am relearning the piano! I played when I was a teen, did grading to a point but couldn't tell you how far along I got. I stopped during high school, to focus on rugby (and I have no doubt, was worried playing an instrument wasn't manly. Stupid stuff). I have a book now essentially called 'relearning the piano for dummies.' for people who have the muscle memory but sheet music to them, is hieroglyphs. Working through it bit by bit!

It's going well and I'm forever grateful that I inherited it, and that I got to spend the time I did with grandad. Growing up he was just that, grandad. But as I got older I realised all the things he'd done over the years. I found a wonderful write up that goes over everything though that would probably dox myself in some way - if I were to post it here. But the list involves two scholarships as a teacher, to travel the world and learn about other countries best teaching practice, working with handicapped students, running the local meals on wheels and reading to the blind as a part of his volunteering, helping to kick start a govt funded sex/health education program that is still in operation up and down the country, coaching sport, teaching music, playing in orchestras (and conducting smaller events) and amongst all of that, just being grandad. The write up even covers his gardening talents. The man practically willed tomatoes into existence.

I need to do more. That's the conclusion I've come to.

user-inactivated  ·  259 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: July 12, 2023

Yep, got the job. Got the call while on the toilet @ 7pm, no less. More money, no management, and the role is in IT. Easiest decision I've made in a while.

user-inactivated  ·  330 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: April 26, 2023

The Stardew Valley boardgame, one that I assumed would be fairly straightforward, caused a monopoly-like rift between our friend group when we tried playing it. The damn thing had numerous handouts for rules, and I don't think we played anywhere close to how it was intended. We tried, it was just so over the top that we opted for a dumbed down version.

Some people whom I've never heard swear before, sounded like seasoned tradies at the end of the night.

We didn't even finish. Just called it quits after a couply beers and a couply hours.

Gah!

user-inactivated  ·  364 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: March 29, 2023

I finished the video game Disco Elysium in the last half of 2022. I haven't gone back to replay it, but it's been stuck in my head ever since. The music, the art, the story, the voices.

I love my video games, I see them as an artform. I adore a game that alters me in some way, making me view things differently. In 2020 I was lucky enough to play Outer Wilds, went in blind and unaware of what I was about to experience. I was treated to an audible, visual and narrative feast I didn't think I'd experience again, till Disco Elysium knocked on my door.

Outer Wilds was initially a nihilistic gut punch that ended with hope and optimism, beauty and splendor. The inevitable heat death of the universe has nothing on this little melody I uncovered, piece by piece. Come, sit around the final campfire.

Disco Elysium waged emotional warfare on my psyche, asking me some deep fucking questions and demanding I face the unpleasant answers that arose. I'm not happy with how I handle some things. I'm not happy with how I cope. At times I've been a shit, arrogant, dismissive, selfish and cold. At the end of a week of playing, unravelling the story in the evenings, I simply wanted to be a better person. I saw how the creators of this game teased hope for the future out of a miserable existence. Not that I'm miserable, but I saw myself reflected in many, many of the events that unfolded. In the regrets the main character expressed. In the ways he chose to hide from those regrets.

When I'm feeling stressed, or down, my mind invariably casts out to something I read/heard in that game, puts it into my current context, and helps me deal with it. Some of the songs from the OST are in my Spotify 'On Repeat' playlist. I'm quietly, subtly being nudged and inspired by artwork, to try and do better each time.

Gotta love it.

user-inactivated  ·  379 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: March 15, 2023

On the sex/relationship struggle. I feel you. My partner and I have wildly different drives, mine being lower, hers being much higher. She'd happily have sex every night or so, I'm happy with once a week or so. It took some good conversations to get that sorted, because there was the inevitable "Don't you find me attractive?" query, coupled with my personal, and irritating, combination of being very tactile, but not hugely sexual. I like it when she touches me or I touch her, but I don't often have it leading into anything. I just like contact. Rubbing my back is a guaranteed way to win an argument with me, cause I'll just doze right off. She however saw it as an initiation, and so when I stop the contact or start a conversation, she felt it was a rejection.

We compromised, essentially, with her being okay if some times just we focused on her, and other times I'd be in the mood too.

We had some lengthy talks about it, and unfortunately I don't have any advice you haven't already considered, I can only offer understanding. It's much better now, but I know without a doubt she felt similarly towards me, as you do to him. Sick of the rejection, knowing it's not personal but still hurting anyway, thinking about it when we're doing something else.

user-inactivated  ·  388 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: WSJ's Monday Morning #nottheonion 2fer

NotTheOnion aside, I thankfully don't have to deal with any coffee orders, simple or otherwise. I can't handle coffee at all. I had a mocha in 2021 to appease my team, because they wanted to see how agitated I'd get. Once I got the, apparently mandatory and immediate, toilet stop out of the way, I was bouncing around the office. I hated it. I'm already high energy, the extra boost just made me vibrate anxiously.

On the printing.. I have no fucking idea how to parse that article. Is it an article? Have I been coaxed into reading an AI tale? Are my millenial brethren just this fuckin' weird?

    The list of printers to choose from, some in offices hours away, were named by nonsensical strings of letters and numbers. After guessing wrong, she clicked cancel, only to be confronted with “this spinning wheel of death,” she says. “You’re starting to sweat and your heart is palpitating.”

... You don't actually work in that office, do you Terri?

user-inactivated  ·  400 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: February 22, 2023

An interesting work development. One of my colleagues finally had enough of our boss (I've mentioned her once or twice) and went to her boss late yesterday, to let it all out. A solid hour of explaining everything all of us have been dealing with under her reign since 2021.

Apparently he was blindsided. He had no idea about these behavioural issues, about 50 odd administrators basically avoiding any contact with her, my colleague explained all 6 of us have resignation letters penned and are just waiting for an opportunity to come knocking. Not even the right opportunity, just the nearest. Explained how our boss will do anything to appear right, knowledgable, useful and "important", no matter how many people she steps on.

He asked the colleague what she wants him to do with this, be it further info-gathering, immediate meeting or HR; and she said "Nothing. If you act on it, she'll destroy us entirely." And I think that offered some perspective without asking for anything to be done. This is all what she told me last night when she called at like 7pm, a little frazzled but proud she had done it. Gonna grab a coffee with her soon and get more information but.. Man.. I dunno how this is all gonna go.

As I type this, one of the 6 handed in their resignation this morning. AND we just had a managers briefing with the COO, detailing a review of our operations division. I can smell the savings.. A touch of malice, a hint of voluntary redundancy, an overall nose of "everyone for themselves".

Other than that - life's ticking over! Partner had a job interview for a new role, I'm enjoying all the hobbies. On leave for 10 days next week and attending A) a whisky festival and B) a theatre rendition of Back to the Future. Chuffed.

user-inactivated  ·  401 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: The Case for Hanging Out

I've got a proper print of this in our bathroom, it's an NZ beer. Not great beer. Honestly one of my least favourites they've put out, but I loved the name and the aesthetic.

    Suspicious...

I am unfortunately cheating on all of you with a rambunctious Discord group.

user-inactivated  ·  401 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: The Case for Hanging Out

    She works at it—she puts effort into this seemingly effortless phenomenon.

I've been trying to get my partner on board with this. She's long maintained that I have this superpower when it comes to people. She thinks I "connect" with them instantly and socialising is like breathing for me.

Not true. It just looks like it. There is a lot of effort put into both maintaining friendships I have, and creating new ones. Hanging out being a core component. Along with the effort, it's a lot of fun, and I go a bit loopy without interaction. Lockdown? I needed socialising so I befriended a bunch of Australian's online and now I've attended two of their weddings.

Oh god maybe she's right. Maybe it's like breathing for me, in the sense that I need it..

Anyway that was a lovely read, and I also want to get the book now.

user-inactivated  ·  401 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: The Case for Hanging Out

Reminds me of some sweet memories. I know the article was focusing on unstructured time with friends, and I also adore that but.. You just reminded me.

The town I live in is a University-town. Multiple suburbs are basically dedicated to housing for students (in various states of comfort). When I graduated from the same Univesity, I went straight into retail, like any good boy with a Bachelors degree in Psychology. But! I kept all my student pals who went onto higher honours.

I distinctly recall leaving work one summer afternoon, sun was still bright, classes had just started so the students had added like a fifth of the town's population overnight. As I walked back towards my flat, I had a desire to see a friendly face after slinging phones all day (telco retail, never again). I changed direction, and headed down the street to a flat where I knew something was always happening.

Got to their door, it was slightly ajar. I went inside, yelled to announce my presence and didn't get a response. I went through the hallway, peered into the bedrooms, wrinkled my nose at some odd smells. Eventually I made my way to the backyard and I found seven guys building a minigolf course using bricks and astroturf cut-offs.

"Ohey man. You got any bricks?"

I did indeed have bricks, at my flat. So I went with them, collected the spare bricks, and we made some more rounds for the golf course in their backyard. That night we hosted an impromptu competition, with score cards, a cash prize for the winner and we had like 20 people turn up on the same street just becuase they heard the racket and were curious. Got to work super hungover the next day, but yeah. I like hanging out. It always leads to something interesting.

That group of friends you could drop in uninvited and just.. Sit. Sometimes people are just vaguely concious after a busy night, and you talk shit until dinner time. Other times you'd catch them making a mini golf course.

user-inactivated  ·  404 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: A post for chat gpt

The deeper I went into that LessWrong site, the more I felt I was in over my head, but not in a way that would matter. Just this strange, uncomfortable feeling that I wasn't where I belonged.

You expand on this further down in that very link and pointed me towards why I felt 'off' reading the posts. It's not really a place for learning.. At least in one of his posts, Yudikowsky was dealing with his past-self and the associated inaccuracies and I thought "Oh cool, here he is, admitting fault and progressing."

But maybe I'm assigning too much goodwill to that. I can shit on my teenage self quite comfortably, he can't defend himself. And he was really dumb. But both my dumb past-self and dumb current-self are at least comfortable being wrong and learning from it.

user-inactivated  ·  420 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: February 1, 2023

Update!

I received an all staff email. "Heatwave under way, stay hydrated, work from home if you can. Look after your elderly and also you can wear shorts to the office."

Booyah. Pins out for the boys.

user-inactivated  ·  433 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: January 18, 2023

Lower back? Any of that horrid sciatica? Whenever I injure my back (a couple of times every couple of years, heavy weight lifting yay) my physio gets me to keep moving. Even just little bits, walking as much as can. It made a huge difference to my recovery over simply resting and staying still. Of course the hard part was not jumping back into things too early..

user-inactivated  ·  446 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Your Coworkers Are Less Ambitious; Bosses Adjust to the New Order

You've said it all, but while reading I noticed..

Nixon Peabody. If you had given me only those two words, I would have bet anything it was a law firm. Just reeks of it. May as well have read Moneybags Liitigiousface

user-inactivated  ·  448 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: January 4, 2023

Mum had one end of 2021. Was scary as shit. Is yours doing okay?

user-inactivated  ·  449 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: January 4, 2023

On the subject of taking a break helping to crash through a plateau - the same thing happened to me after our first lock down in 2020. I went from being in the gym 5 days a week, to having to go for walks, do bodyweight exercises and generally ease back on it.

6-8 weeks later once we were allowed back in the gym, I was straight in there. The first week was rough, a little under what I'd like to lift across the board. The second week I was back to my usual numbers and feeling really good. The third week I absolutely cruised past every max I had set previously, and in the same week I hit three of my four lifetime goals.

I didn't like taking a break, I never knew what to do with myself. But a forced one showed me how much your body needs to recover. Now I tell the young lads at that gym, that the gym is for training. You get bigger and stronger by sleeping, eating and resting appropriately.

user-inactivated  ·  449 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Questions for the New Year - or any time.

The blog post got me reminiscing. I am part of a Discord server, centred around video games. I've been a member since early 2020, and in June 2022 I flew across the Tasman Sea to meet them all; one of the crew was getting married! Over the span of that trip I met 15 people I knew quite intimately, but had never met in real life. It was an absolute blast, and we're arranging another (non-marriage) meetup this year. I talk to at least one of this group every day. I have plenty of excellent friends I can see just down the road, but it's awesome to have this tight-knit group in another country entirely, who would drop everything to see each other.

To some of the questions!

1. What are you curious about (for 2023)?

- If my love of writing continues. 12 months in and I've not stopped yet, keen to see if it sticks. On a larger scale where I cease to be relevant, I'm curious about what the hell is going to happen throughout the world? Nothing specific, it's just that shit seems to continuously be wild and I guess I'm curious about what's going to happen next.

2. What are you worried about (for 2023)?

- My mortgage rate being refixed. I'll be going from 2.90% to something north of 7%. Also the stability of my job (the University is in massive financial crisis, like every University in the country).

4. Do you have any resentments that you can let go of in 2023?

- Yes! Friends who don't put in the time/effort that I put in with them. It used to make me angry. I'd want them to know it pissed me off, but now I'm working on just now getting on with my life. The ones that matter will stick around.

7. What success are you still proud of?

- Buying our house. It's a source of stress, sure, but it's ours. I've slowly been building a garden, we can do whatever we want with the place. It was a wonderful transition to a slower but (arguably) more fulfilling life. Also, my $42,000 student loan being paid off in the next month or two. That will be a huge cause for celebration.

8. What are you grateful for today?

- The good health of my family. Christmas was a wonderful time to see them all again, and enjoy that they are all still with me. I even got to bring my partner's family into the fold. I was a little worried (my family is incredibly.. Uhhh.. Loud - and her parents are very demure) but it went very well.

9. What idea or attitude did you once believe that you later discovered was false?

- I used to think that feminism was anti-men, and would seek to damage me. I steered clear of it, and clear of anyone who was open about their thoughts on it. I wouldn't seek confrontation, but I definitely used to think that this was all the agenda of some purple-haired woman who fucking hated penises. I know better now, and I have my partner to thank for some very patient education and perspective over the years. She saw the potential for a boisterious and tenacious ally, buried somewhere within me.

10. When you realize that everything is made up – all religions, nations, ideas, philosophies - made up by people trying to understand how to live in the world – what then do you believe? What belief system do you follow, or do you make up your own?

- I just try to be better than I was yesterday. Incremental change adds up. If I take a step back accidentally, that's fine. The important thing is that I'm aware of it, and I keep moving forward. Momentum tends to guide me.

12. How would you like to be more effective in 2023?

- Talk to more people. Read more. Write more. Experience more. Take in the world. I'm starting each day (4/4 so far) by sitting in the sun, be it overcast or not, for 15 minutes. I sit out in the backyard, listen to the sounds of nature. Apparently early morning sun has some positive effects on energy level and sleep cycles, I don't know if the papers I read on it were accurate, but I figured I'd give it a try. Getting up early can't hurt, nor can getting outside. At worst I'm getting a head start on the day, at best there are tangible effects and I'm improving myself.

user-inactivated  ·  462 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: December 21, 2022

How you're feeling does resonate with me. Not too long ago, in my 20s, I struggled with the idea of anything feeling 'static'. I wanted new things, to constantly be moving and discovering. Because it felt awesome. It was like tucking into a new book, but I was in the book experiencing things.

While I don't begrudge how I felt before, the person I am now is noticeably different and I put a lot of that down to just having my partner and everything we've built/begun to build.

There's so many things that I know about her, and I only know them after being with her the past 5 (going on 6) years. It's not long compared to some; but similar to your current situation, it began and continued very organically. We met on Tinder, talked for months (truly, months!) before actually meeting up. Since that first night at a dingy little bar that sold our favourite drinks and had killer live music, we've been together. Officially, months down the track, but uhh.. Emotionally? Yeah that night, onwards.

She has a little tic when she talks and gets passionate about a topic - her right eye winks a little. It's adorable, and I'm never going to point it out because she'll get self-conscious. She absolutely loves any jewellery that's just fuckin' weird and will collect shiny things on a whim. She's a goddamn magpie. We found one of those old letter-press, printing tray things and it's mounted in the spare bedroom where she can display an ever increasing and ever-eclectic collection. I'll nab a photo at some point, it's really quite impressive.

Her mother, one of the most kind and warm people I've ever met, described her as 'a tyrant' when she was a toddler. If she didn't get her way she'd go rigid with rage and if that didn't work, she'd remove all of her clothing in protest. I've held her hair back when she was sick, helped her through panic attacks, and taught her how to write a CV (she always had jobs through word of mouth until we had met). She's practically carried my emotional state on her back in 2017, and spearheaded the purchase of our first house. I was too nervous to try, she was determined to have a slice of land to call ours and have a chicken coop, garden, deck, and nobody to tell her off when she hung her assortment of shinies. There's something so undeniably attractive about someone determined and passionate.

All of this to say, that discovery period, that super interesting space, is so great. I loved it. But I also really love the times after that initial phase, where you get to apply everything you've learned about this person and as an unstoppable unit, help each other grow.

I hope whatever the outcome, it works out for you in the end. I'm really pleased you've found someone you click with, but I do also agree with kb and Lil's musings on the matter - they're far more articulate than I so I won't repeat anything. As you say, advocate for yourself first! But I hope it works out. It all sounds so promising.

user-inactivated  ·  463 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: December 21, 2022

    I just know that everyone (everyone who isn't a jaded, cynical mutherfucker like myself) in a new relationship is afloat on all the delerious possibilities, not looking for shoals to crash into.

I've found it's one of the most intoxicating feelings, being in a new relationship. It used to run the risk of tainting everything that followed in that relationship, because things inevitably calm down and become stable/boring/predictable. But before then? That emotional spice of discovering a new person? Hooo boy.

However, holy shit I enjoy stable/boring/predictable now. My partner asked me once "Do you think we're boring?" and I said "No. I think we do what we want, when we want." And she hummed over this so I expanded by asking "What do you want to do this evening?" And she said "Stay home, eat chocolate and work on my cross-stitch." And I said "Fuck yeah." so we did that. We have a little signal at gatherings, one quick eyebrow raise is code for "I'm running out of social battery, can we escape soon?" two quick eyebrow raises is code for "I'm running out of social battery, can we escape soon and also I want to fuck?". There's likely a lot of eye smouldering going on in tandem with the double raise, but I like to think we've transcended the need for that.

I've never felt so damn comfortable.

user-inactivated  ·  468 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: RIP Donald Trump

I just had a staff meeting with one of my departments. Academic chat died down and the meeting chair asked, "Any other business?"

Sensing my time had come, I said, "Donald Trump just announced his range of NFTs."

All decorum went out the window.

"What the fuck.."

"He didn't?"

"Put it on the monitor!"

So I did. Loaded up the page and we spent the last ten minutes of the meeting just looking at those images.

user-inactivated  ·  470 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: December 14, 2022

That's so great to hear!

Your concern about the pacing makes a lot of sense, but it does also seem like things are progressing very organically. Sometimes when it's on, it's ON. Really pleased for you, I hope things continue to be exciting and fulfilling!

user-inactivated  ·  471 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Get Outside

Some awesome submissions there!

Prompts like that have been so helpful for me, just going out and noting what you experience. Sometimes I take a single word and run with it. "Pattern" produced a horror-focused short story about an old man in the woods. "Magnets" developed into an AI coming to it's own decisions about what the "greatest threat" to humanity was.

Poetry though? Never attempted it. I'm going to wander outside today as it's approaching 20 degrees C and it's only 10am... See what comes of my walk :) Thank you for the nudge Lil.

user-inactivated  ·  484 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: November 30, 2022

Tiny gripe. Super tiny gripe. It's a gaming gripe, so it's inherently tiny.

Overwatch 2 has ranked/competition mode, right? You play, compete, and if you do well you rank up, right? 7 wins and you get re-ranked, right?

My story goes: First 7 wins, ranked Bronze (the lowest) okay, that's fine. Lots of people are ranked Bronze, I'll move up quick. Sure enough, 7 wins later, I move to Silver. Then another 7 wins, and I move to Gold. Yay!

The next 7 wins, I get demoted. This can happen, if you're winning but not being useful. Except I am, I play support roles and I can both fight and keep other people in the fight. Another 7 wins, and I get demoted once more, back to Bronze. I'm thinking "wtf", right? I'll move back up, surely.

The next match, I'm in a lobby with names I recognize. They're Australian streamers. Master ranked, if not higher. Very, very good. Why am I in their lobby? Especially if I'm Bronze? I type in chat "Really sorry guys, I think I'm going to be the weak link here". They ask why, I say "I just got demoted to Bronze, and I know you guys aren't Bronze." They're laughing in comms, unsure how to handle this deadweight, but being kind about it.

We win the match despite me being caught out at every turn, and barely keeping up. But 2 questions remain.

1. Why am I being demoted despite winning consistently and with very good stats?

2. Does rank actually matter, if the game will just plonk me into lobbies I have no business being in?

--

Anyway, It's the 1st December here so my tree can finally go up, under intense supervision of my partner. The veggies are booming and we'll have a hefty crop of new spuds for the family Christmas lunch.

Our DnD campaign had another stellar session last night, in the space of about 5 minutes I A) rolled a nat 20 in combat, which led me to firing a supercharged arrow so fast it turned my target into mist, and B) rolled a nat 1 on a strength check, which meant a goblin decked me in the face with a teapot he had stolen from my rucksack.

I love it.

user-inactivated  ·  490 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: October 23, 2022

Work is spiraling hilariously - and I can do nothing but watch. Everyone who matters knows I have no control over this. I'm just in triage mode, deciding what needs to be kept afloat as we approach the Christmas break. I'll be 3 staff down in the coming weeks, and the division overall will be down 13 of 53 around the same time.

I've realized something that probably should have been apparent to me years before. At work, I encounter certain people who need to be right. To the point that they actually get combative if everything is done perfectly. I've always just navigated that as best I could, occasionally even deliberately making small mistakes so they could point it out, and we'd be on good terms because they felt useful. Lately though, I've realized, and this sounds super obvious typing it out, but... It's not just about them being right, it's about someone else being wrong. That's the kicker. They didn't want to just be useful, they needed to be sure someone else was being taken to task.

I honestly don't know how I didn't see that until recently. But it's helped a lot, reframing these interactions and what they actually want out of it.

That said, it's not all doom and gloom. We should get a nice pay increase once the union deal goes through. Also my veggies are fuckin' popping off! It's been super humid and wet of late so everything is just going ham in my garden. Alongside the gardening, my various hobbies are keeping me very entertained and I feel like I'm enjoying everything I'm doing outside of work, so overall, a net positive experience of late.

user-inactivated  ·  496 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: October 16, 2022

Our Union got a tasty offer from the employer after 2x strikes, and 2x rejected offers. For me? 8k permanent increase over the next 2 years, on top of the regular pay increases. I voted for it, it's shy of what we wanted, but a damn sight better than the 2% we were initially offered. I suspect given the genuine financial issues being faced, this is the best we will get.

Peas are sprouting up! Spuds are growing! Carrots are.. Lagging behind, but they're growing! I need to rustle up some conduit pipe, and bird netting, so I can make hooped covers for my raised beds. The cats are still pooping on the safety net, and if I don't get out there and scrape it off, it dries and falls under.

My partner was diagnosed yesterday with ADHD - after a bit of a battle to get seen, it's done. She feels very much validated in it now, after plenty of self-loathing. She's seeing it as context for her behaviour, and is reading up on everything she can to better handle everything. Next up is trying medication, but she's philosophical about whether it'll help. Willing to try it!

The main part was confirming that she isn't just super lazy, she has genuine issues with executive function. My brother told her when he'd been diagnosed, and she'd been wondering about herself "It's not your fault, but it is your responsibility" and she seems committed to not letting it define things for her.

user-inactivated  ·  525 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: What Constitutes a Truly Terrifying Horror Game?

Super late to the party but.. Hi.

You know what genuinely scared me? The teleporting chest near the beginning of Elden Ring.

--Minor spoilers for anyone who hasn't played the game and wants to experience everything blind.--

So at the beginning of the game, you are chucked unceremoniously into an open world. You see a giant armoured knight atop a steed in the distance. If you're a Dark Souls vet, you likely run straight at it to engage in combat, and promptly get your ass absolutely handed to you.

That Tree Sentinel is placed there to encourage people to fuck off in another direction, come back stronger and then put the beat down on him. You're meant to fight, lose, and realize you can go anywhere you want! A lot of people, travel East of this area, to a shallow lake. Aside from getting attacked by a fucking dragon if you get too close to a bonfire, you can explore some ruins and generally get used to the mechanics.

Until you come across a particular treasure chest, submerged in one of the ruins.

The chest opens. Smoke billows out, and your screen goes black. You come to in an entirely new area, a crystalline cave. You venture out thinking "Wow they're pulled out all the stops for this game!" and you immediately get one shotted by any of the enemies lurking in the cave. You might die a few times before deciding to just run for it; it won't be long before you realize you are stuck here. You cannot fast travel underground. You have to escape to keep playing.

You make it out, into Caelid, and wish you hadn't. The sky is blood red, the ground is rotted, and giant heaving creatures roil in the distance. The music kicks in (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aZCD5iPByFA&ab_channel=dudewhereismyspoon) and you understand this is going to get worse before it gets better. This is an area that is so far beyond your characters capacity that you cannot accomplish anything. Birds the size of elephants aggro you from across the map, half the area is covered in poisonous rot and the rest is laid with traps and enemies. So, Australia.

So you escape (eventually). You go back to where you found that Tree Sentinel and you're fucking pleased he's there, something normal. A dude in armour with a halberd. Excellent, I can handle that. Give me more of that.

This teleporting chest, so early in the game, so ready to nab newcomers, was peak fucking horror for me.

Like, no jumpscares - nothing cheesy. Just atmospheric terror and the visceral understanding that you are NOT meant to be here.

I spent the rest of my playthrough knowing I would have to return to this bloodstained land, and dreading it. Even now that music makes me shiver. There were darker and creepier places in that world that I experienced but nothing hit me harder than the surprise Caelid holiday.

user-inactivated  ·  531 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: October 12, 2022

Got a job offer - but sadly they cannot carry my salary over. I would be taking a knock of about 5k and with our mortgage being refixed next year (going from 2.90% to something in the vicinity of 7%+) I don't think I can do it.

I'm going to ponder it over the weekend, and they have definitely made things comfortable for me in the offer - the helpdesk is shift work, but they're making my roster fixed Mon-Fri, 8.30-5. I wouldn't have any management responsibilities, and I'd get out from under my current boss.

But gah, money.

user-inactivated  ·  560 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: September 14, 2022

Man, I have found myself super irritated of late. Last 6 months or so? A snarky email can set me off into an internal rage. I have to exercise huuuuuge willpower these days to follow my 24 hour rule for responding to things that make me angry.

Also working on it..