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ButterflyEffect  ·  18 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: October 3, 2018

Life in Flux. Thinking of taking a twice a week night class for Jan-Apr to get my Lean Six Sigma Black Belt certification, as paid for by my employer. It would definitely be a hit to my social life, but could be a great professional move and is continued learning, which I'm all about.

Meanwhile, I reinjured my ankle during an amazing hike/trail run and am now off running and climbing for at least 21 days. I've decided not to drink until I can comfortably trail run, so it might be a while. I told my girlfriend this, who's immediate reaction was...not what I was hoping for (thinking it's me punishing myself, not understanding why I'm making this decision)...sometimes I don't feel like I'm getting the kind of support I want/need.

WanderingEng  ·  17 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I'm a casual drinker, but the social pressure to drink versus not drink really bugs me. Deciding to not drink for a night or a month or a lifetime should be no more notable than getting chips instead of fries with a cheeseburger. It's just one little minor thing.

ButterflyEffect  ·  60 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: August 22, 2018

Thinking to the next few years and want I want to do. There are a few bigger trails/some circumnavigation of mountains/volcanoes and thru-hikes I'd like to start considering, multi-pitch and alpine climbing, and am in this state of transforming who I was a year and a half ago into who I am today. A lot of that involves becoming a part of, and building/integrating myself into, my own little portion of the running and outdoors community.

Because that's what it is out here, a community. It raises a relationship question, though, that's one of the core issues of all my relationships over the past year or so: Would I rather be in a relationship with somebody who's beside me, or with somebody who's with me. How do you know what works beyond trial and error. Sigh. I'd say I would go on a run to think about this, but the smoke is much too bad for that.

Edit: A less self-centered approach would be to determine how to make time to be with someone that doesn't involve what I'm doing. Really, those are the options. Find someone who's doing similar things, or re-arrange my schedule to make the time and figure out what that looks that to a partner.

ButterflyEffect  ·  137 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: June 6, 2018

Last night was amazing. There's a really large Facebook group (95k members) dedicated to the outdoors which I am a semi active part of. Sometimes socials occur around the Puget Sound, and we finally had a South Sound meet up not far from my house. Every single person I met was fun to talk to and down to earth. A couple of people are willing to help me develop some outdoor skills, met some photographers, a writer, you name it. Drinks were has, karaoke was sang, and then a small group of us bounced to a different bar. It was great being able to put faces and voices to names. The entire time I couldn't help but think that these are my people. Man, was I happy last night.

scissortail  ·  137 days ago  ·  link  ·  

That sounds wonderful. I ought to work on finding a group like that in my area.

ButterflyEffect  ·  221 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: March 14, 2018

What do I want to do with my life, Pubski. Knee is falling apart, again, after the ankle is finally good. Taking a lead climbing course and that's awesome. Trajectory is continuing with weirdness at work. Thinking about Grad School.

kleinbl00  ·  221 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Wrong way to look at it. What do you want to do after grad school? Is there another way to get there? If so, do that. If not, do grad school. The important thing to keep in mind is school is transitional. It's not a destination in and of itself. If it advances your goals, good. If it just accumulates debt while you delay the question, bad.

ButterflyEffect  ·  221 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Well, there's a couple of options here. I convince my employer to pay for it (they do) which would take probably 2 years of night school for one of the following:

1. MBA (booooooooooo)

2. Data Science (I think I could convince them to go for this)

I guess I don't really know what my goals are at this point. Something conservation, sustainability, or in a smaller food/bev oriented company might be nice. Remember when I was bitching about all this almost three years ago? Feeling like ~3 years is a good amount of time for a first job before considering alternatives.

kleinbl00  ·  221 days ago  ·  link  ·  

With an MBA you could be that smaller company.

I do remember you were here three years ago. I'm not going to tell you to stay put. However, if you're going to jump,

1) look first,

2) jump as far as you can.

ButterflyEffect  ·  249 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: February 14, 2018

Man, so I'm reading through this interview with two of the original employees of Stumptown, and this quote comes out of nowhere:

    Just pay attention to life.

And full disclosure, yeah, I do (still) like Stumptown, they're not the best but they have some really cool origins. But there's something so simple about that.

Just pay attention to life.

It's so simple, it's so vast, and it might be a bullshit quote but I am really into it right now. What else can you do but pay attention to life. I'm still hurt but improving (limited to 20 miles running per week, no more than 5 miles at a time), so that sucks. But I bought a bike, still have a great girlfriend (stoked for our Valentine's Night date), and the year is filling up so-goddamn-fast I had to make a calendar to even attempt to keep of track of it.

It's hard to just pay attention to life.

goobster  ·  249 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I want that on a shirt.

AND a bumper sticker.

ButterflyEffect  ·  256 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: February 7, 2018

Yeah, see, and to WanderingEng too, I never really learned how to maybe healthily compete with myself. It's part of why I like running so much, or going on bigger and longer adventures outdoors, to see what I can do. I don't really accept limitations of my body, and instead try to push through and figure out how to strengthen myself to push the limit further and further from where it's been in the past.

But it also becomes a not being okay to have limits mindset. Anyway, I'm running to the gym tonight.

kleinbl00  ·  256 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I know. And that's why I refuse to humor you.

The difference between being glum about a physiological limitation or not being glum about a physiological limitation is glumness. Worse, the worse your attitude the worse your hormonal and chemical balance. The more you act like a little bitch, the longer you will be a little bitch, the harder it will be to not be a little bitch... physiologically.

Toughen the fuck up. Not because I think less of you but because your strongest ally in this is yourself and you sell yourself short at the drop of a hat.

ButterflyEffect  ·  256 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Aaaaaaaaaaand this is why Hubski is the community I choose to stick around...

steve  ·  255 days ago  ·  link  ·  

    Toughen the fuck up.

lil... this might go on the list of slogans/mottos

or maybe even a new sticker

lil  ·  255 days ago  ·  link  ·  

My morning giggle. Thanks steve. Damn - when are we going to giggle face to face.

Speaking of toughening up, I just wrote a workshop called: Against Entropy: Building Resilience for an Uncertain Future. (New Subtitle: Toughen the fuck up for an uncertain future.)

I have to go do this workshop NOW, in another city. Just leaving the house will toughen me up. SNOW SNOW SNOW.

I have four ways for building resilience (and just added a section subtitle: Toughen the fuck up when times are good so you can get through the crises when times are bad. and mknod I have improv exercises between every section.

So the workshop is for women scientists. My topics include embrace ambiguity - I wonder how that will fly. That's where improv comes in, since you never know what's going to happen in improv (if you're doing it right).

I wrote this: Embrace Ambiguity: The more attached we are to outcomes, the harder it is to recover from setbacks. I made that up. I'm guessing it's true, but I'd need kleinbl00 to confirm.

This workshop will toughen me the fuck up. It's been too easy for me since I recovered from HURRICANE IRMA. Ha ha, there's a hurricane around every corner.

kleinbl00  ·  255 days ago  ·  link  ·  

It's hardly original.

steve  ·  255 days ago  ·  link  ·  

life is a remix. you remixed well.

WanderingEng  ·  256 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Personal limits can be pushed. They should be pushed. It isn't about accepting limits, it's about understanding where they are and working to push them. That's where kleinbl00's positive spin on your post, the italicized bit in his first reply, fits. You're already doing the right things, and approaching them more positively can be really good.

It isn't about dejectedly accepting limits, it's being optimistic at understanding them and knowing you can work on pushing them. It doesn't matter if others don't have to do the same. They have their own limits and work to push them, regardless of how that limit compares to yours.

You can push limits.

ButterflyEffect  ·  256 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: February 7, 2018

It's really grating because I'm already going to the gym 2x-3x a week, doing some exercises at home 5x a week, and, you know, have been strength training for over a year now. Because that's my only option. Saying "cry me a fuckin' river" assumes I'm not already or haven't already been trying to work through this shit. I am working hard at this, and already realize I have to work harder than most people to achieve similar results.

nowaypablo  ·  256 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Look kleinbl00 was harsh in diction, but nobody here is actually trying to put you down. Anyone can tell from your post that you're working hard and care about your progress.

ButterflyEffect  ·  361 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: October 25, 2017

I'm just tired. Like, really tired. And have been having this throat thing going on, hope it's something relatively simple like a thyroid disorder. Was going to go on a run today but don't feel capable of it, already overslept today and was late to work and yaaaaaaaaaawn. Something's not quite right.

nowaypablo  ·  361 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I suggest not fighting it when you need a reset. Better to crash at the end of a week or two-week grind, and throw out the sunk cost for a fresh start tomorrow, than spend the whole month hating yourself for not meeting your goals.

Source: me leading up to a 14-hour nap at 6pm last Saturday night.

ButterflyEffect  ·  361 days ago  ·  link  ·  

buuuuuuuuut paaaaaaaaaaaaabs

Forced tapers are the worst.

ButterflyEffect  ·  368 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: October 18, 2017

Scattered.

Media

I've started reading Reclaiming Conversation, and it's making me think a lot. Heading into the read I had already been thinking a lot about my relationship with media and technology, and feeling that it's not that healthy. Last night I made a decision to ditch Facebook with the exception of a page I manage, and to RSVP to events. No more posts, comments, photos, etc. I need to get away from my phone more. We need to get away from our phones more and pay attention to each other. Listing example after example which I have personally contributed to or encountered would be easy, but everyone knows exactly what I'm talking about, so it's pointless. veen what kind of impact did this book have on you?

More Media

What has/what will the recent "Me Too" social media campaign accomplish? What will social media activism ever accomplish?

On Being Selfish

Came to the realization that having goals, intense desires, and devoting your time to accomplishing them is not being selfish. I'm not imposing any of this on anybody else, it's all on myself. If that means a relationship fails, or an interpersonal connection suffers, that is not being selfish. It is a matter of life getting in the way. There's a huge difference there.

elizabeth  ·  368 days ago  ·  link  ·  

    What has/what will the recent "Me Too" social media campaign accomplish?

I believe the point is to showcase how widespread the problem is. That it’s not only limited to slutty Hollywood actresses, but perhaps your sister, classmates and best friends too. Hopefully some people will open their eyes, and say “bro that’s not cool“ next time their buddy cat calls someone?

The point is to start a conversation about respect. I don’t know if many minds will change, but perhaps seeing it as a society-wide problem VS an isolated one will help.

ButterflyEffect  ·  368 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Ah, I think that's where we disagree. While that may be the point, I do not see this actually opening up a conversation. Where is the outlet for a conversation to start? There is a statement, and an awful one at that, but a status and a handful of comments on Facebook makes not a lasting, impactful conversation. The quote veen pulled out of Reclaiming Conversation (and there are many, many other applicable quotes) call into question if we are really making progress, truly conversing with one another. In a few months I think we will see if that is the case or not with the recent "Me Too" campaign.

oyster  ·  367 days ago  ·  link  ·  

It's not likely to have an impact on you because you aren't a creepy guy or a woman who has been harassed. I'm not sure if it makes a difference on a bigger scale but I know that it does make a difference to individuals. Sometimes talking about this stuff opens up a conversation off the internet as well. Sometimes being able to share something like that in even the vaguest details is incredibly cathartic especially for women who have struggled to even put words to what happened to them. It's common to jump back and forth between knowing you were assaulted and thinking you're just overreacting because others had it worse. So putting a statement like that out can mean a lot to individual women and it can mean a lot to the woman who resonates with it when the post has some more detail.

ButterflyEffect  ·  367 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I don't disagree with you. But I also never said that it doesn't make a difference to the individual. I'm talking about actionable discussion or change on a larger scale and society/community wide, which you acknowledged. Two very different things.

oyster  ·  367 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I think it starts with individuals though and slowly becomes a more society wide change. Things don't change over night, people devote entire lifetimes to making small changes because it takes a while to really change society.

I mean Australia still hasn't legalized gay marriage. Progress is slow with or without technology. If anything I would say technology, or I guess the access to information it provides helps move things along faster.

ButterflyEffect  ·  367 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Well we can definitely say the internet helped push things along for Trump so maybe you're right.

veen  ·  368 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Where to start... I jotted this quote down, which might be a good starting point:

    Digital communication gives us the illusion of companionship, without the demands of friendship; it gives us the illusion of progress, without the demands of action.

The focal point of her book, in my opinion, is that she describes our generation's 'flight from conversation'. She doesn't beat around the bush: we've willfully eroded and replaced valuable, face-to-face conversation in favor of easier, more comfortable but less meaningful digital communication.

She uses a bunch of archetypes to hit her point home, for example when she describes the friend group where most people are glued to their phones most of the time. Or when she describes the 'always-connectedness' of highschoolers. Or when she describes teenagers unwilling to call because that conversation might not be perfect, preferring the comfort of a well-crafted email instead. Or the girl demanding that her parents stop using their phones and just talk to her.

I am so guilty of the behaviours she describes. Obviously not to the extent she describes, but to an extent that I'm ashamed of. Because I bought into the aforementioned illusions of digital communications, the book felt like someone pulled the rug out from under me. As an example, I always loathed and avoided phone calls like a lot of my peers. So even though I've been living out of the house for years now, I've never called my family to just talk about how things are going. That was probably the first thing I drastically changed — I now call my parents at least once a week, usually more.

kleinbl00  ·  368 days ago  ·  link  ·  

If you really wanna feel bad, read Alone Together. I feel that Reclaiming Conversation was her attempt, per her publisher's request, to sketch out a silver lining of the very dark cloud she saw forming over society.

ButterflyEffect  ·  368 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I'm going to be reading that immediately following this book. I think.

veen  ·  368 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I have read Alone Together a year or two ago but wasn't as impressed with it as I am with this one. If I remember correctly, she made some interesting points about how we interact with technology, e.g. our ability to do the heavy lifting when humanizing AI and robots. What made you feel so bad when reading it?

kleinbl00  ·  368 days ago  ·  link  ·  

The inevitable drive towards a technology that, by her own investigation, we are hopeless to humanize and her steady qualification of her studies over the past 30 years indicating that human empathy has declined in lock-step with our adoption of technology.

ButterflyEffect  ·  382 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: October 4, 2017

My headspace is ambiguous at best these past couple of weeks. Went on a nice, long (13.8 mile) run on Sunday but have been dealing with a hamstring issue for about a month now. Thinking about seeing a PT for this and a couple of other small, nagging issues. It's a constant journey and I'm always meeting a lot of interesting people through running. Starting to give back by volunteering at races, too, which is very rewarding but in a different way. Seeing people succeed or push themselves against themselves for 26.2 miles (or 13.1, or 3.1, etc.) is inspiring especially when you understand what they are feeling.

So, that's mostly good. Likely going to be joining the Board of Directors of a second Non-Profit in November(ish), this one will be running related. It's funny how once you maintain a residence and involvement in the community you start to see the same people in different organizations and capacities, and you start to be a name that pops up in rooms you're not in. The same thing is happening at work. All of these things are good.

There's a lot of emotional difficulties, though. I don't feel capable of having an intimate relationship at this stage of life. After the last breakup I went back to the whole online dating thing for about 3 weeks, deleted all of those accounts (not just disabled, to remove any temptation). I'm slowly trying to remove myself from the dating pool but honestly, it feels like I've been removed for a while now. My emotional availability is just not where it needs to be to be fair to another human being in a romantic capacity. It's nobodies fault, but it has become incredibly easy for me to strike up a conversation with somebody and hell maybe even be friends with them but anything beyond that is a massive struggle. Does anybody still get that kind of fluttering, nervous sensation when they meet somebody or are out on a date? I don't. I haven't in years.

Cumol  ·  381 days ago  ·  link  ·  

And again, I see the parallels.

Tried the online dating thing just to find out that I neither match with anyone on Tinder nor I am weird enough for OKCupid... Also decided to delete everything. I am at the point where I crave a relationship which makes the whole situation much worse as I feel annoyed by the feeling of needing something that bad.

Had to stop running or any other sport apart from Yoga as I am having some weird pain around my shins. This usually comes when I return to doing sports after a break and overdo it...

ButterflyEffect  ·  396 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: September 20, 2017

Very very excited for this upcoming weekend. Have a friend flying out from the east coast, going on what should be a really cool thru-hike involving renting out a cabin, and then next weekend hit the same kind of things all over again. I'm kind of tempted to go back to Banff in November (maybe a little crazy?). Registered for another trail half marathon which is in February. Things aren't slowing down, and don't look like they will anytime soon. Maybe I'm just going a little crazy.

oyster  ·  396 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Start or end of November ? That's shoulder season, unless it's towards the end when the ski hill is open. At the very start there should still be some hikes. What are you planning on doing if you come ?

WanderingEng  ·  396 days ago  ·  link  ·  

After your last Banff trip, you said your running felt like starting all over. How long did that feeling take to go away? I hiked Sunday through Tuesday and then did my regular Thursday and Saturday runs. The Saturday one was my worst long run in a year, though my Tuesday run yesterday felt a little slow but otherwise fine. I'm hopeful I'll be back in the swing of things by this weekend.

ButterflyEffect  ·  396 days ago  ·  link  ·  

That one took three weeks due to a lot of reasons. What I'm finding, though, is that it's possible to over-rest, and that running the very next day is the best thing to do. Even if it's hobbling for two miles it's helped me more with recovering than taking an extended period of time away from physical activities. However, I'm also noticing that some days or strings of days are just not good running days, for one thing or another. Hand-waving.

ButterflyEffect  ·  410 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: September 6, 2017

Running a half marathon on Saturday and feeling vastly underprepared and unsure of what to expect from the race course itself. Which means it should be fun.

WanderingEng  ·  410 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Road or trail? Much elevation gain?

ButterflyEffect  ·  410 days ago  ·  link  ·  

It's almost entirely single track trail, about one mile of it is on pavement. Roughly 3,000 ft of elevation gain and 3,000 ft of elevation loss. The last mile has 600 ft of gain. Fortunately the smoke in that area is supposed to break tomorrow or Friday, just in time for the races. It's the first time this race has been held, but it seems well organized so far, with 300 people signed up between the 50k, 20 mile, and half marathon distances.

ButterflyEffect  ·  445 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: August 2, 2017

I'm feeling beat up and sounding like a broken record but, man, I just don't feel recovered from that backpacking trip. Think I caught something that put me down for the first week or two and now my musculoskeletal system just doesn't feel like cooperating. Managed to run 7 miles yesterday but am feeling the consequences today. A slow 7 miles at that. Looks like it's time to start building again...sigh...

Had an idea for a podcast. After finding and posting that "Bears Eating Moths" article, I think it would be neat to have a 30 minute, twice a month, podcast intended for radio and internet distribution covering one to two environmental/nature/conservation topics. Working with others in these fields such as master Arborists, environmental sustainability folks, people who maintain and work on campgrounds/hiking trails/etc., beekeepers, so on and so forth. In addition, pairing a small themed playlist with each episode.

It's probably just another idea that I won't follow-up on because of everything else that's going on.

ButterflyEffect  ·  503 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Millenials are on a roll. Now they are killing Sports.

Oh that "TV - Traditional" field is delicious to look at. How much longer and how much more aggressive will these kind of articles get towards "Millennials"? Really, everything is going by way of the record industry.

Oh no, we made an exorbitant amount of money and got too used to it and now things are changing LET'S BLAME THE CONSUMER INSTEAD OF OUR OWN PRACTICES.

am_Unition  ·  503 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I'd much rather watch h3h3 keep it real (although a little less so, as of late, o boohoo) than a bunch of news "personalities" with makeup, 10 billion studio lights, a teleprompter, and an institutionalized axe to grind.

I don't even know how these dumbasses get their little articles published. Oh, right, like-minded dumbasses.

user-inactivated  ·  503 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Opinion: Youtube channels are to media what mom and pop shops are to retail.

Fact: Youtube is owned by Google.

Opinion: Google is a big, scary, powerful company.

Result: rd95 doesn't know how to feel about Youtube.

am_Unition  ·  503 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I'm hesitant to make an analogy like that. The main distinction, I think, is that mom and pop shops generally don't peddle ideas. Not that there are too many good ideas floating around YouTube.

Recently, there's been a concerted effort by established media to sabotage YouTube's revenue stream. Did I mention that I hate the fucking 'Boomers? As more and more of them become aware of their own inability to progress with the quickening pace of society, it's going to get worse before it gets better, I think.

A huge gap exists between academic journals and the casual, p2p YouTube-style of addressing an audience. If I can fill that niche without nerfing my reputation (sometimes I practice ruining myself on Hubski), there's something to be made of it. A big something. I've already got my own little plan I set in motion several years ago, and it's still kinda hush hush, but it's going very well so far. Apparently, I'm one of the only people in my little bubble that has any desire to explore the realm where academia meets emerging forms of media. More crabby old men to blame for that one, too.

But yep, I'm scared of Google, and the sort of "permanent internet record" that it exemplifies. It'd be silly not to be.

ButterflyEffect  ·  550 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: April 19, 2017

Starting to have some serious trouble keeping everything straight. Too many people coming to me with too many things to validate, verify, or otherwise find answers to. Because that is one thing I'm good at, if I don't have an answer on-hand, I'm good at getting it in a pretty quick time. Even if it's not something that's in my field. Outlook tasks are really starting to pile on...

Outside of work, same exact thing. Between running, working out, volunteering, moving, seeing folks, it's getting to be a lot. I have a whiteboard calendar now, and that's good, but things are still falling through. Example: Have a sticky note with 5ish things to do today outside of work/during work but unrelated. Eeeeeeeeeeee.

am_Unition  ·  550 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Competence breeds stress, so play dumb sometimes.

oyster  ·  550 days ago  ·  link  ·  

When will you be in Banff though ?

ButterflyEffect  ·  550 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Well, I just made a call for Baker Lake and left a message...hopefully I'll get in. Have to make a call tomorrow for Merlin Meadows...

If that works out, I'll be in Banff from July 19th through the 21st or 22nd.

Edit: oyster, got the sites (fuck yeah)! I'm also going to have 21st and 22nd, any recommendations? I might extend the backpacking trip to the 21st but definitely want to do a "normal" site somewhere, or right at the lodge at Lake Louise, on the 22nd before heading back to the state.

oyster  ·  550 days ago  ·  link  ·  

So the 21st and 22nd you'll be around the actual town of Banff ?

ButterflyEffect  ·  550 days ago  ·  link  ·  

100% yes on the 22nd, 50% yes on the 21st.

oyster  ·  550 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I would recommend coming up to Lake Louise and I can think up more specific stuff to do closer to the actual day since I haven't been here for a sunmet yet. Banff is great and all but it's a bit commercialized and will be crazy busy this summer.

ButterflyEffect  ·  550 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Kind of figured that it would be crazy in the summer. Are you going to be around?

oyster  ·  550 days ago  ·  link  ·  

That's the plan, I'm not sure on my schedule for July yet though. I'll either be waking up early to work breakfast or going to bed super late. I'm hoping for the early shift still.