OKAY SO here's the latest and greatest: We're going to reference the last Hubski for numbers. - Girl 1, went out again last night. Another good date? More good sex? She's really cool, but I'm not sure if I'm feeling enough of a spark with her to really keep things going. Idk, she's really pleasant and genuinely interested in me, my interests, and I feel the same about her...but... - Girl 2, went out a great 2nd date for dinner over the weekend. She's pretty much out for the next 2-3 weeks though due to a work trip and subsequent family trip. The thing with her is we already have some more common interests, and there's just a lot more flirting/ribbing/roasting back and forth which is super entertaining, and makes for great conversation. - Girl 3, out of the running. Overall though, here's the rub: VP of my department asked me a few weeks during our monthly 1:1 "why am I here", and "why do I work", and "what's stopping me from doing everything that I want to do" and spent some time telling me how she sees flashes of greatness from me at work. This is something I feel is true in nearly every part of my life, and is a truly fleeting feeling. I have enough savings to fuck off and not work for 2-3 years, but would like another $35ish thousand in the bank to really go off and do whatever. And to take an aid and big wall climbing course. It's a weird feeling - kind of Willy Wonka-esque. I've kind of gotten everything and more I thought I'd ever want and have in life up to this point, and it's like, what now? What happens next? Maybe I need to spend some serious time on figuring out more deeply who I am, what my values are, what my vision is for myself.
Made it to the other side, y'all. This is the first weekend since 1/1/2023 that I don't have plans to go 2+ hours away at least one day of the weekend. That might change...but I'm not dying for it to change. Last weekend I took a snowmobile up to North Cascades National Park for some incredibly stormy backcountry skiing, and now, I'm kind of done with winter and being wet and cold all the time. The part where we almost rolled the snowmobile on day one was real fuckin' stressful. Skiing was incredible though. Dating is going a lot better, I think? At least I feel mentally healthier about it but maybe that's because I give a fair amount less of a shit. - Went on a 2nd date with a girl Monday night, she's into cross-country skiing, yoga, and hiking, and is generally a very pleasant and attractive person. Might have slept with her, which I'm trying not to do with people on the first couple-few dates...but no complaints there. Going out again early next week. - Went on a 1st date last night with a climber girl who's actually down to earth with her climbing and has other interests, also attractive! Super fun night, figuring out when a 2nd date will happen with her. - Aaaaaand have a 2nd date this weekend with the girl I met at that concert a few weeks back.
Climbing Today is a rest day from ice climbing, thank god. In the last three days I've climbed 15 pitches which is...a lot...for someone who doesn't do a lot of this. Unfortunately, while WA state is amazing for so many outdoor activities, ice climbing is particularly tricky to get good conditions due to lack of regular cold snaps and other factors that go into forming these flows. I can feel my technique and form get much, much better over the course of this week and the people I'm climbing with are becoming new friends! It is incredible to me to be in Canada this week climbing with some absolute legends of climbing in Steven Swenson and Jim Elzinga. Still having trouble believing I'm really here this week. Not Climbing Still talking to one girl in particular, "girl b" from last weeks pubski! Had an amazing 2nd date with her last Thursday and am hoping to talk to her on the phone tonight, with a 3rd date either on Monday or Tuesday. She wants to take things slow and so do I, I think that was my biggest takeaway from recent experiences. If I want something sustaining and nourishing, which I do, I need to take some different actions and repeat to myself "I am not in a hurry". Y'all have any 3rd date recommendations?
weekly girl update unclear if I’ll end up being wrong on if this will work out or not - I have learned, or had an epiphany over the last week, that what she wants even if she hasn’t said it explicitly is for me to tell her what I want, to take charge and plan actual dates and outdoors stuff for us, and that these are things she’s found attractive. I’ve shied away from that recently due to the dynamic of friends/lovers/etc…but so far this week, positive reception and results to the changes I’ve made in approach 🤷🏻♂️ spent Saturday night together, Sunday morning had sex again (yay), and spent Sunday night together. Maybe spending tonight together. Funny part is, she did go on a dinner date with someone else on Friday. Came back to me…
Girl stuff continues to be fraught with potential emotional peril and also continues to be now onto the third consecutive insanely fun week. It’s clear that she doesn’t want a relationship at this time and that we kind of skipped dating and went straight into that. The likely outcome will be her continuing to primarily date me, but going on dates with other people (aka taking a step back and into a more “normal” early relationship/dating experience). Anyway. We’re spending New Year’s Eve together. Will be fun. There’s a lot of reasons I’m okay with this. We’ll end up together, I’m pretty sure of it.
kleinbl00, b_b, Foveaux, lil, Quatrarius, update: We tried talking a couple nights ago but it wasn't really the right time and environment to have a constructive conversation. It was still very respectful and caring towards each other, but otherwise wasn't working well. We tried again yesterday afternoon after she got out of work, and had a wonderful hour, hour and a half of talking. The feedback from y'all and via text message really helped me clarify my thoughts and emotions in this situation, and her and I have walked away from yesterday's conversation with a "let's check-in on this topic as it comes up, but yes, let's keep doing what we're doing in a safe, thoughtful, and fun way that can build on what we're starting with each other". So, we'll see? But I think being more assertive in stating my wants/needs while also clarifying my desire to respect and maintain her freedom and autonomy went a long way. The latter really changed the entire tone of the conversation and I think changed her narrative on this topic. Feeling positive, but we're not 100% through this.
I am having a bit of a reckoning. Any and all input is welcome. Having a great, great time with this girl from the last Pubski. Still seeing each other almost daily, which sounds like a lot, but feels like nothing and is so organic. Our dates are great and so varied, our emotional and physical chemistry is through the roof, and we've started introducing each other to friends in our respective lives. There's two challenges, one of which is exciting - she is finishing up a fellowship and got a job in the area, but will be a 4pm to midnight-ish job 3-4 days a week. Not too concerned over that, but will certainly change the dynamic a bit from the current arrangement where seeing each other when we're both done with work is super easy. The other though, she is a serial monogamist who is exploring her sexuality and sex itself - got out of a relationship 3-4 weeks ago, hopped on Bumble, and has gone on dates with a few people since then, mostly myself. Somehow the topic of progression to a relationship came up, while we're dating right now, what could the future look like. She knows she's looking for a relationship, but she also may want to sleep around as that's something she hasn't had an opportunity to do in the past (was married for 6+ years prior to this last relationship). But, I am open to that in the scenario where I am the person she's dating and emotionally committed to, and honestly, if she wants to go on a date with someone else once in a while and fuck them as a one-off while we figure this out/progress our dating...like...that's okay with certain boundaries... Anyway, we're going out for a fancy dinner tonight. Will be a lot of fun! Hmm...I don't know. Throwing words out there to try and formulate my own opinion and thoughts.
Climbed a couple of more mountains on Sunday and Monday and am looking at actual training plans for rock climbing so I can work towards some bigger goals. And for the fun of it. Training should be fun! Online dating though, sucks, it sucks a lot. I've been ghosted about 5 times now where I even get the persons' phone number, have a good conversation, make plans, and then never hear from them again. It's insane. I've gone on one amazing date with someone I'm still regularly talking to/flirting with but the problem is...she's only up here on long weekends/holidays/etc., as she's from up here, but is in an accelerated nursing program 8 hours south of here. So I don't know what to do about that. Easily and far away the person I'm most interested in and has the most commonality with. Kind of crushing in a poetic way. Sigh. Here's the big scary dream mountain range I'd like to climb in the next 5 years or so. https://www.nps.gov/places/arrigetch-peaks.htm Working backwards I need to: 1 - work my trad rock climbing lead abilities up to probably 5.11a/b from 5.9/5.10a. (lot of work) 2 - learn how to aid climb (lot of work) 3 - go on at least one smaller expedition that's more in the 1 week timeline as opposed to 3 and a half weeks
I'm feeling...manic? I think is a the most appropriate term. Kind of checked out of work right now with it finally being summer and just wanting to do everything else that involves being outdoors. Climbed one of the volcanos this past Friday & Saturday, then climbing splitter granite on Sunday and a Bumble date after that, Monday went to a concert, Tuesday trail run club, tonight going an hour after work to rock climb, tomorrow more rock climbing, Friday night I have a date with girl from past Sunday, Saturday & Sunday big overnight climb. I think I'm both just wanting to meet a bunch of new people, go on dates, and stave off some loneliness. Rinse and repeat next week I guess?
My gut says to break-up, my head says, "well maybe this can work", but I feel like all the intimacy is gone from my relationship. Just mega, super bummed, and not sure what to do. Have been buying replacement furniture & items for the house so I'm not living in a half-empty place until my lease is up.
Sometimes you have to drop in the pub on the off-hours. Partner and I haven't been doing so great the last 6 months, more and more distant feeling both physically and emotionally in our relationship, with a lot of changes in what she's wanting to do with her free time. Not as much in the outdoors/climbing realm, and more time playing guitar, being artistic, and spending time with friends. Which I am more than supportive of, and have encouraged, but hasn't changed a lot within our relationship. The downside is it's resulted in us spending less time together as a couple, and with COVID being forever and ongoing, we haven't quite spent as much time doing other outside of the house date night type things, which I think has caused us to suffer romantically. End result, she's moving out, and to an island, probably 90 minutes of travel one way, to live a life she's wanting for some time now. On land, on property, in a small home, more isolated from people and places, which is something she's talked about the entire time we've known each other. Which I'm genuinely excited for her about...not excited that it's happened over the course of 4 days, including (mostly) moving out. She wants to try and use this as a way to improve the parts of our relationship that have resulted in discontent and complacency, but at this point, I'm not sure how physical distancing can improve personality compatibility issues and if it's better to just end things...
Hubski broke the 100 comment barrier twice over the past few weeks! Haven't noticed that in a while. recent comment activity 1 week ago: 101 2 weeks ago: 84 3 weeks ago: 76 4 weeks ago: 102 5 weeks ago: 71 6 weeks ago: 64 7 weeks ago: 53 8 weeks ago: 92
I'm tired. Been working from home full time for a few weeks now, just feel really sluggish in the mornings. Some of it I think is how goddamn dark and dreary it is until like 8am still. Some things to look forward to, but for me, February is usually the hardest month of the year. And it hasn't been snowing much which has made skiing really suck. Crazy, though, to think that I'm already 6 months into a new place and a new job.
Zillow eating shit makes me happy. Losing my passport and having to go through government tedium, not so much. You wanna talk about inefficiencies that costs me a lot of money, and a lot of time? Because holy shit. Outside of that I guess things are good. This job is going well but my old boss got a major promotion at a new place and is offering a Director title that would offer probably at least $50k more salary so I'm all what do I doooooooooooo.
This is a woman and an athlete who’s institutions have failed her. Nothing but respect for the decision she made.
I do not recognize the legitimacy of this Pubski.
You go to nature for an experience of the sacred...to re-establish your contact with the core of things, where it’s really at, in order to enable you to come back to the world of people and operate more effectively. Seek ye first the kingdom of nature, that the kingdom of man might be realized. Why don’t you stay in the wilderness? Because that isn’t where it is at; it’s back in the city, back in downtown St. Louis, back in Los Angeles. The final test is whether your experience of the sacred in nature enables you to cope more effectively with the problems of people. If it does not enable you to cope more effectively with the problems – and sometimes it doesn’t, it sometimes sucks you right out into the wilderness and you stay there the rest of your Life – then when that happens, by my scale of value; it’s failed.
- Willi Unsoeld
Please tell me there's a picture of this. I would love to see Steve Exotic.
Hi Hubs! A few little updates for you all. I finally posted part one of my trip to Thailand his past and Bhutan this past week. elizabeth partially goaded me into this. One of the biggest challenges I've ran in to with writing up that post is wondering what my narrative is, what story am I trying to tell. So you went to Bhutan, so what? is what was running through my mind and I think I started to figure that out in the last couple of paragraphs. Part two should be fun and gets into the mountain race, drinking with the Prime Minister of Bhutan, and some other stories. It's a place I will go back to in the future and I still talk to a couple of people I met over there, which is wonderful. Mentioned this in chat, but I recently raised $1,401 for a local food bank and food security non-profit in my county. They're struggling both people and money wise to support the drastic increase in people needing support. I can tell you the customer base has increased by more than 132% but I don't know the exact number. Raising the money was...not that hard in this case. I simply ran 36 miles overnight, starting at 7pm and finishing at 3am. I was planning on running more miles but ran into three separate cop cars patrolling and one cop on foot and got spooked and called it a night. Turns out there was a break-in at a business about a mile away and I think they were looking for the suspects. Glad I trusted my intuition in this instance, probably was the safest decision. It was a race I was supposed to be running in-person up-north, and the race fees benefited a local Horse Ranch up that way. Great cause all around - the race director supported me using her race as a platform for this fundraising and even contributed herself! The way it worked was this: for every mile I ran, I would personally donate $1 to the food bank. I asked people to match this, and my community really rallied around this task. Something like 30 people ended up matching and now hopefully a lot more meals will be able to be provided. That was something which felt very, very fulfilling to me.We haven’t seen anything like this since the Recession of 2008 when our customer base increased by 132%.
this post is proof that callout culture is effective
Started making my own granola! It came out wayyyyy too dry but the next batch should be great. Nut free and dairy free! After getting this down I’m going to try making some sunflower butter energy balls, overall trying to get away from store purchases protein bars / climbing snacks. Tempted to try making my own plantain chips too but that might need a Grubski or something. Wondering how much longer until mandatory measures are put into place for Covid-19.
We need more people in the world like you, lil. This post was such a welcoming read, made my day!
This one might be a bit all over the place. Tomorrow night is lecture one for the Glacier module of the intermediate climbing course I'm taking. Learning things like 6:1 (or > 6:1) pulley systems for crevasse rescue, ice climbing fundamentals, steep snow ( > 50 deg ) travel, other rope techniques. Very excited! Very excited for where the future leads with this. Snow is still my favorite, glaciers are beautiful and part of my "maybe I'll move to Canada" is I have higher hopes for the glaciers of northern British Columbia and Alberta than I do the lower 48 states. That and healthcare. Still going to Montreal in a couple weeks, excited for that. Had a conversation with my boss last week, couple hours. Great conversation (perfect conversation, I have a manuscript!). His opinion of me is that I can basically do whatever I want if I really want to, from his level (manager) to his former level (Director) to above (Vice President) in a Fortune 500 company - but he also said he thinks it's equally likely that I get "tired of all the bullshit" at these levels and go do something else. Funny that he sees me about the same way I see me. If I don't move to Canada I still really want a little place up north, I think the Methow is about the most peaceful place I've been to when it's not on fire. Won't mean much to those of you who don't live in the great state of WA. Song of the week / year for me right now is probably a tie between Fire by Waxahatchee and The Process by Chastity Belt. Couple of tunes about mental well being, something I always struggle with. Struggling with a bit right now with the state of this country, the state of my future intentions, and being 28, I think. 28 is weird. 27 was weird but I think things are getting stranger as more and more friends of mine get married and have kids or talk about how those are important things to them. Or people saying they'll become important things to me as I get older (most of those people aren't distance runners or mountaineers...). Who knows. I sure don't.
Love Schiff and that was a great speech but please, somebody point out the last time the truth mattered? Did it matter during the 2016 election? Did it matter during the vote for the Iraq war? Has it mattered with climate change? Does it matter with voter security and gerrymandering? The list goes on. Power and money is all that there is.
I wanted to do this separate. WHAT CAN BE LEARNED? What did this past decade teach you?
Hey man, you don’t need to apologize to me for anything. Glad you didn’t perma-quit, I enjoy your posts and hope you have a great Christmas / New Years!
Who are the people who worked on a project like this fake school? Do they go home at the end of this thinking they’ve done a good job, do they have families who support their career? How do we have so many people working for an organization like ICE.
OKAY has ANYBODY been WATCHING the SONDLAND testimony? Holy shit.
Found a really large banana slug a couple of weeks ago. Look at this thing!
Unlike _ref_, I have take myself off of the dating market. I've had enough of relationships for a while, two very unsuccessful relationships in one year is plenty, thanks. Of course, I've met a trail running girl who seems perfect for me. She's only living here until mid January. Ugh.