comment by
Complexity
badged comment
Complexity  ·  3511 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Matt Burns: Apple Just Uploaded A U2 Album To Your iPhone And iPad - And Seriously, WTF  ·  

Relax in your spa. Glance down at your Apple watch. Is that the time? Yes, it's U2 time. It's Suntory time. It's time for you. You are time. You are iTime. Sit back and let the warm, soothing bubbles of You caress your portfolio. Let your mind drift. The funding for your third startup app will come, don't worry. No stress. Ignore the internet background radiation of bleating voices cheeping about climate change. There is only one climate to bear in mind right now, the warm, misty froth of the spa. Be in the spa. Be the spa. Rest your hand on your glass. Is the glass half full? iGlass. UGlass. You too? Are you half full? Or are you half empty, a raging screaming void of present moment consumption, sifting the glossy digital catalogues for product after product to dam the flood of horror, hush, it's you time, it's time for you, too, it's time for U2, soothing time, Suntory time. Hear the clink of round ice cubes on expensive crystal, the hiss of bubbles, feel the worries melt away, melt away, we will update your software soon, we will reconfigure your taste, let your mind go blank, work harder, do you believe we know what's best for you? Do you believe? iBelieve, iBelieve.