Ah. I no longer own a grill. However, at one point I had a deck on the second level of a triple-decker house in a shitty part of Boston, on which I had arranged my hammock and grill such that I could grill while in the hammock. Now, the thing of it was, I would get some drinks in me while grilling and then fall asleep and more than once, woke up with burns on my elbow.

I also used to drink at a place on the beach in Viet Nam that had a grill right next to the bar and of a weekend, would rock up with my crew and make ribs. We used hardwood charcoal because that's what was available. Fantastic stuff, if insanely long lasting. The best compliment I ever got was when people walking by on the beach wandered over and tried to buy the lunch out from under my friends and I.

My man, you are in NC. The Carolinas have their own distinct barbecue tradition that I would absolutely love to explore. Though grilling is distinct from barbecue, I would imagine that in NC there are far greater grillmeisters than I. Does yours by any chance have a rotisserie? I have to say, some of the best chicken I've ever made was with a rotisserie and it was dead easy too. A pork shoulder is also nice that way.

If I recall, your wife is vegetarian, no? If so, a gas grill is capable of making some pretty good baba ganoush but then, I love eggplant and I know that not everyone does. I've never had the opportunity to check out smoking as a method of food preparation, but with a really nice gas grill, I bet you can make some decent bacon or salumi if you are willing to be nontraditional about it.

Ah, before I forget. A fish in foil is pretty perfect for a gas grill. Some of the best fish of my life has been prepared this way.

You will need:

1 whole fish (a big one, or a few smaller ones)

A big onion

Some good tomatoes

Some green onions

Some herbs (dill is nice, as is basil, long cilantro if you can find it, even woody herbs like rosemary and sage)

Some lemons or limes

A whole lot of garlic

Good olive oil

Coarse salt

Some black pepper

Chili peppers (optional)

Lay your foil down on the board and put down a layer of sliced tomatoes and onions. Sprinkle with salt. Add a layer of lemon slices too. Throw some crushed garlic on top and some sprigs of herbs. Coat lightly with the oil. Rub the fish with the oil, rub it with salt and pepper and then put a layer of lemon slices and herbs (including the whole green onions, washed with the roots sliced) on top, followed by a layer of lightly salted and oiled onions and tomatoes, with the crushed garlic. I like to put my chili peppers next to my fish, so the spice enters it. If the fish is really big, do all of that but first cut slits in it about two inches apart, perpendicular to the back, down to the belly and stuff herbs and garlic into them. Oh, also stuff the cavity of the fish and make sure to season it with salt.

Wrap very tightly in the foil and then grill it . . . uh, until it's done. It's a pretty forgiving preparation and the lemon helps to ensure that it will be cooked. If it is kind of bland (in that the salt hasn't really penetrated the fish) make a 1:3 mixture in a ramekin of coarsely ground salt and black pepper and dissolve it in a squeeze of lime and maybe some of that olive oil. Add some chili if desired and dip bites of fish into it as you go. The drippings of the fish will go very well over rice/pilaf or even just with a very crusty bread.

Maybe it's just that I've been around for a little bit, but I've seen what seems like an increase in it and I'm not in favor of it. It's one thing for users to ironically badge things in the spirit of fun (at least I think that's how I got some badges), but using it to spotlight something the badger deems worthy of derision or ridicule seems on the cruel side to me.

. . . but let's not have this turn into an "issue" . . . please.