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AshShields  ·  3969 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: What do you consider to be your biggest obstacle?

I have issues with motivation that lead to me hardly ever finishing things, or, when applicable, finishing them at the very last minute (case in point, I'm currently writing an essay due tomorrow). I'm lucky in the fact that I'm able to do assignments and the like at the last minute and still get really good marks - actually, better marks than I would otherwise. I work a lot better under pressure, and knowing that this is the absolute last chance to do it means I put a lot more effort in, resulting in better work. If I didn't have an affinity for/enjoyment of writing it would be a real problem, as it means I rarely produce drafts or edit work.

But, at this very moment, my biggest obstacle is my gender issues. I'm genderqueer, which falls under the trans* umbrella, and essentially means that I don't feel I am either male nor female, but somewhere in between/neither. I'm usually able to live with it, but other times, like the past week or so, the dysphoria (the feeling of not fitting in your body, of looking at yourself and seeing someone else/not how you see yourself at all) is crippling, often leading to bouts of severe depression. As soon as I've got this semester's work out of the way I'm calling my doctor again to go on hormone treatment, but it means encountering a lot of resistance from society/friends/family. Sort of damned if I do, damned if I don't.