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It's funny that you ought to be worried that getting a discount from your greengrocer for friendly smalltalk would be considered manipulative. I don't see that at all. IMO the 'just be yourself' maxim simply means to engage other human beings on the level. We all have roles that we play, especially in our professional life, but as The Breakfast Club so artfully demonstrated, once you take those roles away, we are not so different, you and I. IMHO social grace lies in the ability to move beyond roles when both parties would appreciate it, and to stick to them when one party would not.Please understand that I'm not asking how or if you manipulate people, but if you'd like to talk about that, that would be interesting too.