My parents are not great people. They're not horrible, but they're not great. When I came to grad school, they made clear that while they weren't going to pay my tuition (fair) they wanted to support me anyhow. Not fully, but just help out. They assisted in my living situation, have been paying my phone bill, car insurance, health insurance (which they say they'll cover during my grad school after I age out of theirs in a few months), part of my living costs, and provided a big chunk of change, promising they would provide that same chunk a year later to help me out on my educational hellish adventure. It's been really helpful. However, they've decided to do what they do best and use their financial stability and my financial instability to continue to control me as a person and didn't provide that chunk of change. Because of that, I'm considering not going home for the break between semesters. It'd be a lot of gas money, oil change, need wipers and brake change and those would really have to happen, there's the time not spent working and earning money (unlikely I'd work while I was home and if I did it'd probably be thesis and not actual work), not to mention all the cost of living increases with stagnant pay and the fact that my student loans don't even cover tuition so I need to pay some of that out of pocket because I will not take out private loans. So they called today and I mentioned all of the costs I have upcoming and why I may not be able to come home for Christmas and they immediately started gaslighting and trying to guilt me into coming. What a fun time indeed. It's really fun looking back and noticing how they changed for the better when I was financially independent and how now that I am not again, they abuse that to attempt to control and gaslight me. I'm glad I am finally seeing who they are, disappointed it took so long. A while ago my father asked me why I treat my parents different than my friends, accusing me of treating them worse. I chose to feign ignorance and not mention that they've gotten a lot more second chances than a friend who treats me they way they do would ever get. Maybe in a few years when I'm financially stable again I'll finally cut them out. Unlikely, but maybe.