The last time James Carville was relevant, Crystal Pepsi was on the shelves, Ice-T's "Cop Killer" was on the radio and Nirvana was in the studio recording Nevermind. Magic the Gathering did not exist, nor did Pokemon, and Eternal September was a year in the future.

My wife was filling out a census last night from her birth center association. They asked about our minority representation. We were supposed to list how many African Americans we employed, how many Mexicans, and how many Puerto Ricans. That's it. I told her to write them back telling them we weren't going to answer their bullshit questions until they stopped trying to erase our Brazilian-Japanese midwife, our Welsh-Taiwanese receptionist, our half-Hawaiian naturopath, our Italian-Chinese naturopath or and our Cuban-American office assistant and ask them how, exactly, in a country where the President is decrying violence on Asian-Americans on national television, they felt those three categories were somehow inclusive.

Know what sucks about getting old? The grocery stores start playing songs you haven't heard since your childhood. That's right, old man, the Muzak is for you. 'cuz you remember what bullshit it was that you couldn't buy a fuckin' candybar without hearing the Shondells or Herman's Hermits or Frankie Fucking Valli none of whom had contributed the slightest bit to culture since before you were born and there's Thomas Dolby, being Blinded with Science. But you know what? That means you don't have to listen to Frankie Fucking Valli anymore, and neither does anyone else, because to a person born in 2004, "Pennsylvania 6-5000" was probably sung into a victrola by assholes wearing porkpie hats.

You know who uses the phrase "communities of color?" ANYONE INTERACTING WITH A PUBLIC UNDER 30. Know how to find someone who uses the word "LatinX?" ASK. I overheard my kid's teacher explaining to the class how important it is to pronounce someone else's name correctly because it's their name and it matters a lot more to them than it does to you.

That's the big swap that conceited, sociopathic senior citizens like James Carville don't get: they don't get to pick anymore. They are culturally irrelevant. The world has moved on, their arc is done, it's time to diminish and fade into the fucking East because their cultural moment is over and anyone fighting that? In the name of defending the old hidebound barriers that got us here? Needs to fuck right off.