"Haha!" he said, "It was a trick question all along! I wasn't looking for an answer, I was looking for a fight!"

We've been having these discussions for several years now, haven't we? Can I just point out to you that the way you "debate" anything is to ask a question, ignore the answer and then go "HA HA! you have fallen into my trap! I can now ignore your every sentiment, satisfied in my own smug sense of superiority."

You and I actually agree about nearly everything. Yet your move, without fail, is to pick a fight about the one tiny little aspect where we don't. We're on the same side of this issue yet you have me rooting for your relatives because their disapproval hurts you more. You aren't looking to convince anyone you're looking to self-reinforce your isolation. Do you actually have any confusion whatsoever as to why they don't listen to you?

If you want someone to listen to your arguments, you need to listen to theirs. And then you need to respond to what they say, not what you justify their position to be. Ask yourself these questions, and actually consider the answers:

- Do they love you?

- Do they think you think about things?

- Do they value your opinion?

- Are they willing to listen to you about other issues?

- Is there a bond of kindness, family, familiarity or affinity between you and them that allows you a rhetorical avenue not available to strangers?

If any of the above is true, you need to debate them differently than strangers on the Internet, no matter how much more fun it is to argue about how stupid they are. Nobody wins when everyone just leaves madder.