Why are modern thermometers so shitty. Maybe they work well if you spend more than $100 on them. In the $30 range of oral or ear thermometers temperature readings can vary by as much as +/- 2 degrees. We have three thermometers and all three are just fucking garbage. All three have decent reviews on Amazon, all three have been calibrated and all three can only tell you if you have the warmth of life but not much more of any practical use.
I'd spend $40 on an old fashioned mercury thermometer.