Some observations from a consumer that has never had to work foodservice but has consumed plenty:

- Servers on the West Coast make between $7 and $15 an hour plus tips. Some restaurants point this out by noting that a gratuity has been included, or that the final bill will include a 15% gratuity (they can pay wages out of that gratuity). Some don't.

- Every service industry fight I've ever heard about (I've worked bars, but not as a server) has been between front of house shafting back of house. Computerized point-of-sale terminals split non-cash stuff based on preset rules; restaurant owners can also get a cut of the tips pretty easily, whether or not it's legal.

- Los Angeles servers are trying to make the rule of thumb 20% for mediocre service and 25% for standard service. You will get a credit card receipt suggesting tips for 20%, 25% and 30%. They're also making $10.50 an hour minimum. This has had two effects: (1) I go out to eat very little in LA because fuck y'all (2) counter service and communal tables are super-hip because you can shove more people into the restaurant and pay fewer servers. Fuck communal tables. It was awesome. There's a restaurant in Long Beach where they tried to seat me outside at a communal table and I said I was eating somewhere else. Six months later the communal tables were gone. Fuck communal tables.

- Cracker Barrel may rule. Olive Garden sucks.

I always try to tip more than 15% too. But if you've convinced yourself that you're entitled to 25% (on an $11 "sangria" made with white wine and a $18 "pizza" that's basically a pita covered in Costco sausage and ragu) I will fuckin' eat tortillas and government cheese you fuckhead.

God I fucking hate this city.