last night i went to my second-to-last therapy visit and i said to her "you know, this is a lot easier now that everything is going so well - i barely have anything to talk about" and everything really is going quite well

it's been about 4&1/4 months since i started medically transitioning and i'm reaching the point where more often than not i like the way that i look

i just looked back on the post i made here when i said "i came out to my mother, she was accepting" - i said that in november 2015 and i'm sorry to report that that was a judgement made far too soon because as soon as my dad got to her that acceptance didn't last - it took me 5 months after that to finally go to a therapist and a long chain of bullshit before (last october!) i finally got to a therapist that actually took me at my word that yes, i really am sure, been sure, before things could progress, and that span of time between last october and this march before i could even get an appointment with an endocrinologist because of all the hoops everybody in the goddamn medical community apparently requires

and the gist of it is that i've been really, really angry at everyone and everything around me and it's nice to not have to be that anymore

it wasn't a great time for a while there for that and a bucket of other reasons but the REAL gist of is that now i can use the past tense for practically the whole bucket and it's a beautiful day