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kantos  ·  406 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: June 6, 2018

    Is that a real possibility?

I have examples of past relationships where we have mutual attraction we don't act on. For my own reasons, part of me decided to turn this dynamic into an all-or-nothing situation to replicate how some of them went wrong. It took me this long (and some kind people reminding me) to see these dynamics are going to happen throughout life.

    Would you be able to enjoy it?

I have a feeling if I set those boundaries right, and stick to them, there's no reason why I can't choose to enjoy our time.

    I fall out with people who didn't reciprocate my appreciation of their company.

FOR THIS EXACT REASON, I think I can make the former work out. The moment I knew she was back with her ex, I began to find arguments for how I wasn't being appreciated. When, in reality, I've kinda been dead fucking wrong. I helped her move, and she offered her services as a masseuse as payment. It's not uncommon for one to pay for the other when we don't split bills. etc.

It's kinda rough to get out of my head on this, but the fact I can see the other side of this gives me hope I can do this right.