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My mom has also had a quite difficult upbringing. Maybe not a six but definitely a three or four. Her shadow is that she has always and will always worry whether she does enough for me and my sister. (She does, of course.) I think that she feels insecure where you feel fake. But she has been an important person in many people’s lives. For about half her clients, she’s the nearest they have to a shrink. She was an important mother figure to more than a few of my friends when I grew up. When you put those feelings aside and look at the result you have on the world around you, do the intentions still matter?