I am with someone who is a kind, patient, and talented person. Whom I like a lot. But I don't know if I want her. Or a relationship. I feel guilty over how crazy my schedule is, and frustrated over the state of my body, and unsure of where I will be in a year. She's great, but I'm not as excited, and wondering if I will end up in love with her or not. Wondering what that even feels like. I've felt love once in my life, and that was five years ago now.