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necroptosis  ·  2232 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: In honor of Valentine's Day, tell everybody your tale of heartache and woe

Ah well, here we are. Been an interesting two months.

I met a girl in Berlin the day before New Years. The situation of meeting, unfolding of events, and instant chemistry felt straight out of a movie. Everything about her is harmonious. I don't think I've ever connected so thoroughly and easily. Her presence made me want to be more honest then I've ever been, even with myself. We ended the night in a small bar, talking until almost 5am. We made plans to go out New years, which would have been perfect had I not come down with horrible food poisoning and spent the night puking in my hostel. She left the next day.

We've been talking for about two months now. She lives halfway across the world. I have a highly intensive job. Neither particularly matter. We can both deal with distance, I know that. The problems lie solely with me. I've had years of pent up restlessness and boredom. I've recently moved into a new country with plenty of opportunities. I feel unsatisfied. Years of pent up frustration are boiling out. To be blunt I want to drink and sleep around, free of responsibility and worry. This would be so easy to cut off if she wasn't so goddamn perfect. I can't help but think if we had met a year later I would have settled out a bit more. I know the inevitable truth I have to tell her, but fuck do I hate having to say it. I'm still trying to convince myself I can change my mindset.