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user-inactivated  ·  238 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Why American men are getting less marriageable

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Jobs are a status symbol. People not only care whether or not you work, they also care about the kind of work that you do, how much money they think you make, etc., and judge you accordingly. As a result, a large part of people's egos are tied to their jobs, for better or for worse.

I once had a co-worker, a genuinely nice girl, bemoan the fact that she couldn't find a good guy worth dating. Through conversing over time, I learned she had plenty of guys interested in her, but none of them made enough money. She wasn't a gold digger, but things like a good place to live and a job with health insurance were on the list of requirements for men she'd be willing to date. I tend to go back and forth on wondering whether or not that's fair.

Sometimes it seems that social world views end up influencing people, even if they directly don't hold that world view. For example, I know a couple that have been together for over a decade and have three children together. The husband only works part time, because his wife makes a ton of dough, so he takes care of the kids. He's told me that his wife's parents

make disparaging remarks about him on the regular because they don't think he earns enough and I think that's totally not fair.

I think socio-economic status doesn't affect just whether or not someone wants to marry you, but also whether or not someone wants to have kids with you. I know a few married couples that are childless, not because they want to be, but because they literally can't afford to have kids. If a woman wants to have a marriage with kids as a life goal, that's gonna cycle back to whether or not a guy's job is gonna make him suitable for marriage.