Week's been good. A couple of thoughts helped me overcome the overbearing anxiety and dread that I've been having over the upcoming exams - something I've talked about in my latest personal post. Now, even though I have little energy, I'm taking on things I want to take on: things as ambitious as building a literary RPG single-handedly and as simple as cooking.

Finally broke up with the girl I've been talking about over past Pubski gatherings. Felt like a move forward. There's nothing to a relationship that doesn't have both people interested consistently. Decided I would take responsibility for whatever relationships I end up with and the way I handle them from now on. Developing my core personality helped me realize how low I've been selling myself so far.

I can feel paradigms changing in my head ever since I've decided against soda. I've talked about it over IRC but am no longer sure it's the whole scope of things. Starting to feel differently about food, exercise, relationships, people, honesty, life decisions, tastes, my own place in the world... Lots of things that become opaque for a moment then lose themselves in the flow of thought. It's a change for the better, and I'm grateful for it.

Starting to realize a few things about myself, as well. I'm mostly a serious person. Most of the fun people around me have seems senseless to me, empty in essence. I figure I'd need to start looking for people in places of common interest rather than try and dig those out - unsuccessfully - in those who don't seem to exhibit them. Great plans for summer include putting energy in meeting people with similar tastes and, hopefully, outlook. Planning to take a look in at least groups for writing and tabletop games. Maybe start a gaming clan: Depressively-Serious Gaming (dunno about you, but it gives me a giggle).

Keeping borders about things and people in life seems to be the lesson I'm learning: you have to say "no" to those that take away time from things that are important to you. For a person who was raised to always agree, it's a difficult yet exciting lesson to learn. Aiming for pass marks by the start of the next uni year.