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I was at a private college with about 10k students for 2 years, then I lost my scholarship and transferred to a state school with 35k. The big one had way more stuff going on- there were probably 10 times the number of student organizations. It's easier to feel list on the crowd though, but if you try to meet people you can always find friends who share interests. As far as cultishness - it can be fun out irritating, but if you can make it through orientation and welcome week you could probably participate very little in the school spirit after that without anyone caring.