IMO we are suffering from a labeling glut. Of course, labels help us communicate complex ideas, and we need them, but there is a compromise for the efficiency gained, which has become under-appreciated.

People are defined by their actions, but as a society, we seem to be very concerned about our ability to discuss what people's actions mean in relation to some sort of cultural taxonomy, as if the process of classification revealed some sort of cultural terra firma. I believe that process can be dehumanizing.

It might be because we communicate by text more than ever, and as a result, obsess about the meanings of our words to such an extent that we confuse them for the things we intend for them to represent. On top of that, we are expected to take a position on everything. Having a poorly founded opinion is seemingly more excusable than not having one.

The author is not having sex. We can discuss her situation which we know little about, and we can reflect upon the similarities and differences between her situation and ours. IMO the latter is far more valuable. Maybe it makes sense from her doctor's perspective to label her as practicing secondary abstinence. But that doesn't mean that the term is useful to describe her from her own perspective, or ours.